Ambient Stupidity
I am seriously at a tipping point.
Maybe its because its the time of month when my hormones get all wacky. Maybe its because this weather has me worn down. Maybe its because I am still seeking some sort of internal balance that never existed. Maybe its because no matter how many times I see someone take their final trip… it always hits harder when its someone you actually know. Maybe its because I’ve kept things like this held back and pent up in the greater interest of keeping peace that at this point the pot has finally tipped.
I am talking about ranting, raving, and ripping into people who act with obnoxiously self-absorbed ambient stupidity.
I used to have a whole category filled with rants and raves of various sorts. Eventually I moved away from it… because while I may have initially felt better about that ventilation of emotion, it was at the same time feeding a furnace that was slowly starting to consume me. I realized that doing it wouldn’t be the easiest thing to do for myself, but I would have thought it would be easier the more I did it and I could let things go easier. That hasn’t been the case. In fact… if anything… not releasing on that stuff seems to make it fester more.
So here’s the deal… if you want everything to be sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns then click here.
If you’ve strapped yourself in with your shit helmet on, are over the age of 18, and understand the following may not be safe for work then you can continue on in the extended post…
So last night I watched the new season of The Biggest Loser: Couples. There were three things that stood out to me.
First, we finally found out that the thing strapped to the contestants arms is called a Body Bugg. I remember seeing alot about Jell-O and Brita last season, but this is the first mention I’ve seen of this device. Supposedly it measures your caloric burn. I’m curious just how well it actually works.
Secondly, the ambulance that supposedly drove away over the grass was fake. It was definitely a Hollywooded ambulance, because it had absolutely no writing on the side or the back. Additionally, we’re not going to drive over grass when there is a perfectly good road. Really… sell the drama if you want but try to make it realistic at least.
Finally, they have a “couple” on there of former models from Miami in the Green Team of Tara Costa and Laura Denoux (pictured on the right). So of course, there was drama of Tara puking on the treadmill. These are former models after all, so this is to be expected. The best part was Jillian‘s answer: Toughen up cupcake. Classic.
It’s going to be a good season.
I am really fed up right now.
Mentally I am dumbfounded.
Emotionally I am bordering on an old school rant that may lead to a psychotic breakdown which will feed the Blogosphere’s Drama Engine just a little longer with my digital ink.
I don’t understand why people are so stupid. Really. Totally and completely stupid people who have no business doing what they’re doing.
What are they doing you ask???
They are the ones handling the stimulus refund from the Federal Government. They are the IRS. The money men.
I got home yesterday after a typical Monday. Typical=crappy. There were two things I found when I got home.
The first was a .5 liter of Coke that I promptly consumed due to its cold temperature being the antithesis of the hot and humid former flood zone I was settling into.
The second was an envelope from the IRS that clearly said in red letters: 2008 Stimulus Information.
I was befuddled by this envelope. So after opening the Coke, I opened the envelope and fully expected a check. No. There was no check. Instead there was a letter from the IRS explaining to me the exact same thing that was explained to me when my taxes were done. The letter also said how I could expect payment around the third week of July. If in fact I don’t get the check within 6 weeks of the date they gave me, well then I should call them to find out if in fact it was sent out. Does this make any sense to anyone? Why would they not save the postage and just mail me the check when it was ready?
Don’t tell me the postage for this crap doesn’t cost anything. Every piece of useless mail that goes out, from the government or not, costs something between the paper, the ink, and the manpower needed to deliver such items. I don’t have the numbers, but it costs money to send these little things out. Why else would they have raised the postal rates again?
Speaking of raised postal rates, why don’t they just charge double for bulk mailings? Seriously. Readers’ Digest Ed McMahon Sweepstakes should just give Ed the money before he loses his home, and the Post Office should make everyone else who does bulk junk mailings pay double. You know that would cut down on some of the REAL mailbox clutter because those companies would no longer look at bulk mailings as profitable. This not only would cut down on the load of the mailman, but it would decrease the amount of time needed to deliver the mail, and you could probably cut one mailman out of ten. I say start with the grumpiest ass one who not only destroys the cards my aunt sends me, but can’t friggin’ read and delivers it to the wrong house.
So what would the government do with all this newfound money? Develop real working R2-D2 Mailboxes. The R2 Mailboxes can not only be mail receptacles, but then in the middle of the night they can drive themselves to the post office and dump their load. At some point, with further development, they would be able to deliver the mail which would lead to needing even less mailmen! Less mailmen… more savings… more R2 Mailboxes… which means less mailmen… more savings… more R2 Mailboxes. It’s a win win for me… although not so much for the mailmen. Hey, there is always UPS, right?
Of course this won’t ever happen. Wanna know why? Because the money men, the IRS, are stupid. They send you letters telling you about a check that’s coming instead of just sending the check. They definitely won’t try to save you any money by properly funding the US Postal Service R2-D2 Initiative. I feel like I am stuck in a bureaucracy of stupidity and there’s nothing I can do about it. Will it never end?
There is only one thing that could make me feel better. A pudi-cake-a-cookie.
Pudding? Check. Golden Oreos? Only three blocks way. Only one problem. They don’t sell Little Debbie in this confounded city!!!
I blame the government.
It’s a desert cake conspiracy.
So I got to see Pope Benedict XVI on Sunday at Yankee Stadium. Now I know that there have been nothing but rave reviews about his visit. I know that people have literally greeted him as if he was a rockstar… chanting ”Benedict” throughout the stadium just prior to him coming out in the Popemobile. I know that there are a lot of people talking about the historical significance that his visit means. I know that there are a lot of people who have suddenly felt a connection to the Pope, feel he has climbed out of the shadow of Pope John Paul II, and that he is a loving and holy man. I am not one of those people.
In fact, to be honest, I wanted to be. I wanted to feel some sort of awe and reverence towards him. I wanted to hear his words and feel the fountain of fiery faith reignite within my heart… the fire that was snuffed out almost 7 years ago. I wanted to be able to say, ”Yes, I am a Catholic, who believes in one God, the Father, the Almight, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen.” I wanted to be able to say it and mean it… instead of just saying it out of reflex from the years I spent as both an Altar Server and a Sacristan. I wanted to feel… fixed.
Still, I didn’t. I tried in the beginning… but it just devolved into another day at the office for me. I felt no descent of the Spirit. I felt no connection to this man in white. I felt no desire to pray or sing in a non-reflexive manner. I just wasn’t moved by any of it.
I think one of the things that sort of killed it for me was the merchandising. Yes… they were selling t-shirts for $30 with the Pope‘s name on them, rosary beads blessed by the Pope for $20, and a small cross blessed by the Pope for $10. He was treated like a rockstar… and sold merchandise like a rockstar. They even had the official Pope Benedict XVI cookie for $3.50.
I questioned myself if in fact it was a sin to, for all intense purposes, eat the Pope. Catholicism teaches you that the bread and wine turns into the body and blood of Jesus Christ during the transmutation at the beginning of the consecration. So what about the cookie with the Pope‘s image on it? Am I therefore now eating the Pope if the cookie was in his presence during the consecration? More importantly… just how does the Pope taste?
There was only one true way to find out…
categories: It's All About Me Ambient Stupidity
From the great grand okay state of Oklahoma comes a story about Riccardo Gino Ferrante. Mr. Ferrante was arrested in 2006 for sticking a camera beneath the skirt of a girl and taking a photo. He was charged with a felony under a ”Peeping Tom” law. Here is what happened to the court case from the original article on FOXNews.com:
In January 2007, Tulsa County District Judge Tom Gillert ordered Ferrante’s felony charge dismissed. That was based upon a determination that “the person photographed was not in a place where she had a reasonable expectation of privacy,” according to the appellate ruling issued last week.
The District Attorney’s Office had appealed Gillert’s ruling to the Court of Criminal Appeals.
“We agree with the district court’s analysis,” stated the opinion written by Appeals Judge Charles Johnson, with Judges Charles Chapel, David Lewis and Arlene Johnson concurring.
In a dissent, Appeals Judge Gary Lumpkin wrote that “what this decision does is state to women who desire to wear dresses that there is no expectation of privacy as to what they have covered with their dress.”
“In other words, it is open season for peeping Toms in public places who want to look under a woman’s dress,” Lumpkin wrote.
He said he found the majority’s finding of no reasonable expectation of privacy “interesting and disturbing.”
Oh Oklahoma! How could you be so blind?
So 3 men and 1 woman sitting on the Court of Appeals in Oklahoma think that it is okay for a guy to kneel down behind a girl wearing a skirt in Target, stick a camera up her skirt, and snap a photo. We’re not talking about Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan doing one of their Sharon Stone impersonations, not in the least. We aren’t talking about someone walking down the glass staircase at the Apple Store on Fifth Avenue, not in the slightest. We are talking about a girl standing in a store and having a camera stuck up her skirt for a Kodak moment.
Is this a victory of free speech? Is this a victory for budding erotic photographers? Is this a victory for perverts in the state of Oklahoma? You could in theory answer yes to all those questions. It makes me want to get a few fellow bloggers together, get a shitload of memory cards, and go on a road trip to the nearest Wal*Mart across the Oklahoma border.
So who loses? The obvious answer is the women of Oklahoma who are now being forced to practically wear a burqa when leaving their homes. The not so obvious answer is the state of Oklahoma’s tourism industry because there is absolutely no way in hell I will permit any female (specifically Blinky, Pudding, Poppy, The Steff, Lollipop, The Nick, and my mom) to travel to a state that encourages perverts to violate women openly in department stores. Let’s face it… with all those women put into one store… Oklahomians could live tax free for decades off the loot from their sales tax!
They’ve really just shot themselves in the feeties.
