It's All About Me
Miss me? Well believe it or not… I’ve been here… just not here.
What can I tell you? My weekend was all encompassing and with good reason. So here are a few points I’d like to make about it…
⊕Poppy has become a member of The Hills… at least inducted by polo
⊕We got to meet Ed Kranepool, who is a city native along with being a 1969 Met… the year the Mets won their first World Championship… on Saturday. He did an autograph signing at The Hills. I got two balls and a bat signed.
⊕Cleon Jones, another 1969 Met, missed his flight. This ended up making the day go from a 6 hour day to a 9 hour day since he caught a later flight. Needless to say, he really didn’t impress me… neither did his excuse of being held up by security in Alabama. He only came with the clothes on his back… and left after an hour to catch his flight home. Not impressed. At all.
⊕I can’t take Kash to Home Depot anymore. Even though he has no idea how to use any of it… all the glistening tools are like crack. Sadly… I can understand his infatuation. Anything with the word ”Power” before it… well that’s for me.
⊕I want a Roomba.
⊕This morning I had a full 5 hours of BlogTalk Radio shows to listen to. Sadly… at least 3 times I wanted to call in and scream “Men suck!”, “Down with penis!”, and “Vaginas rule!”… but the shows were already over. I really need to try to listen to them live.
⊕Chilli’s Monterey Chicken is fantastic.
⊕I tried a new coffee spot… ESPARKS Coffee. I became concerned when the menu list had “large” but the register rang it up as “venti”. Could this be a Starbuck’s front? I’ll have to investigate more… but it’s okay. The coffee was delish.
⊕This week is National EMS Week. I may post more about it later… but if not… well… just don’t dial nine-one-fucking-one for a stubbed toe this week, k? We want to enjoy our free bagels and juice without having to toss them for a bullshit call. Thanks.
⊕I haven’t just been a bad blogger… I’ve been a bad blog reader. 4,000+ unread feeds. Really… I’ll get to them… but for now… it’s Jamba Juice time!!!!
So it’s just another rainy crapola day in the city. Ontop of it, I’m not feeling too great after a shady hearty McDonald’s breakfast. So here I am relegated to drinking a Jamba Juice Peach Pleasure while trying to figure out which trash receptacle I could puke in without scaring or pissing off too many people. So while I make this all important decision, here’s a few thins for you to contemplate…
⊕Radical Christians will protest anything like a Starbucks logo. Here’s a clue, a mermaid’s lower half is that of a fish. They don’t have legs to spread. Duh.
⊕It’s gonna get harder to hit a strike… and to respond to a Friday night riot which those lanes were always good for.
⊕With postage rates going up, environmentalists are now saying we need to stop mailing letters. That’s exactly what we need… more people on the unemployment line as the U.S. Postal Service will start laying people off. Anyone ever see The Postman? Yeah… you’ll never look at your mailcarrier the same way again.
⊕If you haven’t watched BattleStar Galactica last week, you missed the most intriguing look at the Cylons yet. Those Basestars… they are alive…
⊕Miss Britt has announced BrittCon to be held right here in New York City. Someone suggested walking through Harlem. I love you Britt… but you’re on your own there.
Yeah… I feel better… not.
So today is Mother’s Day in the United States. Today we honor our mother’s by purchasing flowers for them from the guy on the street corner who got them from scouring the cemeteries the day before, giving them a day off from doing our laundry, and if they were REALLY good… we’ll let them take us out to eat at the restaurant we want to go to. Yes… we honor our mother’s oh so very well.
This year however, I went a little above and beyond. I got my mom a Kodak Digital Picture Frame. The fact is my mom, not unlike myself, has a shitload of pictures in photo albums. The problem is… she doesn’t get to see the pictures nearly as much as she would like. So I decided to get her the frame with a 2GB SD Memory Card. Of course… my mom doesn’t have a digital camera and all her old prints are from 110 film sized frames (yes… there once was a film size called 110… I know… hard to believe that 35mm and digital did not always rule the world…) and to be honest… the colors are WAY off. Still… I think that’s part of the charm.
So besides dropping some digital images I had… I also scanned a couple pictures from a photo album that mom left laying around. Once I give her the frame… then I’ll let her either pick and choose the photos or just hand the albums over so I can spend oodles of time scanning them in for her and then dropping them on the 2GB card… especially considering I only filled 86MB of it with the photos I had.
Some of the pictures of course feature my grandmother… who insisted that she was in fact the incredible shrinking woman when she turned 75. I tend to agree. My mother herself also seems to be shrinking more and more each day. Even as I type this… she is probably losing altitude. It’s probably a genetics thing.
So here is one of the pictures I scanned from the album. My mother had black hair back then, and my grandmother had already started the shrinking. Needless to say, by looking at this photo from 1983, I have white hair and severe shrinkage in my future…
Yeah… I come from pretty good (shrinking) stock.
Happy Mother’s Day, mom, and to all the mother’s out there…
categories: It's All About Me Personal
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You know how you just get a look from someone… and that look just brings a smile to your face no matter how badly that day has gone?
You know how once you get that look, you want it all the time whether its been a good day or a bad day?
You know how once the person giving you that look gets their claws into you… the pain is more than bearable because at least you know they are near?
You know how once you get woken up by a cold wet nose… you wish every morning you’d have a cold wet nose as an alarm clock instead of that grinding CD in the clock radio?
You know how once you feel their softness… and cuddle with them… you just never really want to let them go?
You know how when you do leave, you feel better because their hair just happens to be all over you?
Yeah… I’m missing her.
And her momma too.
Today is going to be a relatively long day. I need to go to the dry cleaners, try and get a haircut, run to the office store so that I can pick up a missing piece in my Mother’s Day gift, and pick up pig ears from my OTHER girlfriend (the short, drooling, slobbering, ”scratch my belly”, brunette who insists on peeing the floor when I walk through the door). Then I’m going to Jersey to highjack a scanner, play some Halo 3, and hopefully get Hooters for dinner.
The truth is… I’d rather just sit at home and do absolutely nothing.
Seriously.
First things first… I need to go to bed.
So I got to see Pope Benedict XVI on Sunday at Yankee Stadium. Now I know that there have been nothing but rave reviews about his visit. I know that people have literally greeted him as if he was a rockstar… chanting ”Benedict” throughout the stadium just prior to him coming out in the Popemobile. I know that there are a lot of people talking about the historical significance that his visit means. I know that there are a lot of people who have suddenly felt a connection to the Pope, feel he has climbed out of the shadow of Pope John Paul II, and that he is a loving and holy man. I am not one of those people.
In fact, to be honest, I wanted to be. I wanted to feel some sort of awe and reverence towards him. I wanted to hear his words and feel the fountain of fiery faith reignite within my heart… the fire that was snuffed out almost 7 years ago. I wanted to be able to say, ”Yes, I am a Catholic, who believes in one God, the Father, the Almight, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen.” I wanted to be able to say it and mean it… instead of just saying it out of reflex from the years I spent as both an Altar Server and a Sacristan. I wanted to feel… fixed.
Still, I didn’t. I tried in the beginning… but it just devolved into another day at the office for me. I felt no descent of the Spirit. I felt no connection to this man in white. I felt no desire to pray or sing in a non-reflexive manner. I just wasn’t moved by any of it.
I think one of the things that sort of killed it for me was the merchandising. Yes… they were selling t-shirts for $30 with the Pope‘s name on them, rosary beads blessed by the Pope for $20, and a small cross blessed by the Pope for $10. He was treated like a rockstar… and sold merchandise like a rockstar. They even had the official Pope Benedict XVI cookie for $3.50.
I questioned myself if in fact it was a sin to, for all intense purposes, eat the Pope. Catholicism teaches you that the bread and wine turns into the body and blood of Jesus Christ during the transmutation at the beginning of the consecration. So what about the cookie with the Pope‘s image on it? Am I therefore now eating the Pope if the cookie was in his presence during the consecration? More importantly… just how does the Pope taste?
There was only one true way to find out…
categories: It's All About Me Ambient Stupidity
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