Dear Friends,

I come here this morning with heaviness in my steps.  These last few days have not been easy for me.  I have suffered horribly at just the prospect of writing this to you, but I have come to the realization that I have no choice.

I firmly believe that there are things in our lives that at times will spiral out of control.  My own job often causes me to bear witness to members of humanity in this downward tailspin.  While a medical intervention serves to temporarily stop the spiraling, control over the course of life is rarely regained through it.  Most of these spirals are influenced by outside substances which internally we crave.  I am talking about addiction and the power it holds over us.

The first step to resolving an addiction is admission.  Therefore, I admit to you, I am indeed addicted…

So as I’m about to enter my second day without the smokie treat I figured I’d throw out a few random things about yesterday

• • There were 3 other people who quit with me yesterday
• • Approx. 100 toothpicks were chewed
• • Approx. 20 pieces of gum were chewed
• • There were 2 Ice Coffee straws and 1 McDonald’s soda straw chewed
• • I only lit 1 toothpick as I would a cigarette without realizing what I was doing
• • There were 11 conversations with people that started with, “I quit smoking today so don’t fuck with me.”
• • There was 1 conversation that started with, “I quit smoking today so I will fucking kill you if you open your mouth.”
• • Thus far I have saved over $20
• • It cost around $60 (between nicotine patches, toothpicks, and gum) to quit
• • I only held my head in my hands in woe 3 times
• • There was only one other person, besides myself, who quit yesterday and didn’t have a cigarette all day

All in all… so far so good.

I should also point out that while this tax was the proverbial “straw” that has broken my back on smoking, it really isn’t the only reason.  It’s been a long time coming… and to be honest the huffing and puffing up the stairs is starting to get to me too.

I would like to also point out that while no one likes a quitter, at least I manned up and did it, unlike Hillary Rodham Clinton who refused to give a concession speech last night.  Rumor has it that this post is what made her change her plans in an attempt to avoid embarrassment… and to try and negotiate away some of that campaign debt she accumulated.  Typical for a politician… looking for a payoff for their “troubles”.

Personally, especially after what the last two months has brought out about her nastiness, I hope they don’t offer her the VP slot.  I think then I’d have to vote Republican on the principal that the Presidency of the United States should not be ruled like dynasties.

Does Hilary, who has not gotten the Democratic nomination for President, getting the VP slot change the way you would vote in November from today?

I believe in aliens.  No, not aliens as in the little Mexicans from south of the border who come up to work in our Taco Bells.  Nor do I mean those pesky Canadians from north of the border who come down to complain about the Mexicans working in Taco Bell, eh.  I mean real, live, aliens as in “little green men”.  You know, the ones who hang out at Area 51.

When I was younger I used to have dreams of aliens visiting me in my room.  They would clamor on the rooftop.  I would be frozen in my bed.  Literally unable to move or make a sound.  The clamoring would eventually lead to one of them opening a door, and then I would wake up screaming.  It was hard for me to explain the dream to my parents, since I didn’t know what they were… that is until I saw Close Encounters of the Third Kind.  That really opened my eyes up.

Of course through the years I’ve seen all sorts of alien documentaries, read alien books (like Communion… that Whitley Strieber… what a freak), and of course seen a whole lot of alien movies.  Now if you think this is leading up to me talking about the aliens probing me in VERY uncomfortable places… like the back of a Volkswagen… then you’re in for some serious disappointment.  See… all this alien infatuation has led me to seriously considering getting this little gem…