Motion Pictures

Release the Kraken!!!

I love that line.

I’m not quite sure why. Maybe it’s because the climax is coming. Maybe it’s because I like the name Kraken. Maybe it’s because of the seemingly neverending rotation of the commercial when Liam Neeson says it. For whatever reason I just love that line.

For those of you who have not yet ventured out to see the new Clash of the Titans, allow me to assure you that this remake isn’t starring you’re original Kraken…

… who in all honesty looks like a guy dressed up in the Creature From The Black Lagoon suit.  Now if you’ve seen the original, you probably think you already know the meat of the story… and you’d be right. There were some definite changes in the story though which I think were for the better, making it fresh in today’s cinematic arena and delivering a true morality story that the original Greek tales were famous for.

Basically it warns against the consuming nature of vanity.

For when you allow vanity to consume you, consumption by the Kraken is inevitable.

Powerful stuff, right? Sure.

But what about Bubo, the mechanical owl. In the original movie he is probably the best supporting character. In this version he is relegated to a 15 second appearance before being cast aside. I found this to be an outrage! I mean sure, I can overlook the fact that the Scorpinok fight was a little too long. I can see past the hunting of Medusa (who really looked kick ass) which seemed a little too short. I am totally cool with Pegasus being a black stallion, fine with Io being Perseus‘s love interest instead of Andromeda, and with Hades playing a more central role as opposed to Poseidon and even Zeus himself. I can even understand why the Kraken makes a seemingly short appearance, although I am actively campaigning for him to have his own feature… I’m thinking a romantic comedy co-starring Cloverfield as his love interest. But why on earth get rid of Bubo???

Overall I liked the movie. I thought it was worth the money I paid, even though I don’t think the 3-D effects made any difference to me one way or the other.

I just wanted more Bubo. Is that so bad?

I don’t think so.

So I’ve been following Celebrity Apprentice on Sunday nights.  There were quite a few celebrities on there that I like, such as Jesse James, Andrew Dice Clay, Tom Green, and of course Annie Duke.  In the interest of full disclosure, I absolutely despise Joan and Melissa Rivers.  I find them despicable fraudulent human beings and exactly what is wrong with America in their blatant promotion of nepotism.  Even though I seriously question Donald Trump‘s business acumen considering the bankruptcy filing of his casinos for the third time, the money losing Miss America Pageant with their many controversies, and the issues that have plagued him in the city from his properties… I still think he has to have a clue.  At least… I thought he had a clue.

Nepotism - Favortism shown or patronage granted to relatives, as in business.

So last night was the season finale which pitted none other than Joan Rivers against Annie Duke.  Now throughout at least half the season, Rivers has been nothing but obnoxious and nasty to Annie Duke.  She did nothing but throw insults and slurs her way, insulted poker players as a whole, and went so far as to compare Duke to Hitler.  The entire time, Duke just sat there and was calm, cool, collected, and PROFESSIONAL.  She was rarely given the chance to defend herself or refute Rivers‘ allegations without being interrupted.

So last night on the finale, they were tasked with throwing a VIP party integrating the Cirque Du Soleil’s Wintuk, Kodak, and their respective charities.  Now for those of you who may not realize this… this challenge had to have been shot back in December or November.  Wintuk has been out of the MSG Theater since the first week of January.  The first real twist to the challenge was when party planner David Tutera quit, and pulled his firm out of any involvement in the show.  The reason?  As he told Barbara Walters, Joan Rivers is “a monster”.  This, in effect, fucked Annie Duke who had a good working relationship with her designer.  After some last minute scrambling, both parties did indeed go off with Joan Rivers bringing in celebrity impersonators in place of real celebrities because… well… she obviously truly is friendless in Hollywood.

When the final task was evaluated, it was done so on 5 criteria.  Amount of money raised, integration with the charity, branding of Kodak, celebrities present, and overall feel.  Joan Rivers raised a measly $150,830 compared to Annie Duke’s whopping $465,725.  Yes… the “poka playas” contributed more to charity than Hollywood!!!  Now does this show that the Hollywood machine is not what it used to be… or does this show that Joan Rivers has no juice there?  It could mean either.  However, Joan was then granted the categories of branding Kodak (participants walked through a picture frame arch), celebrities present (it’s hard to understand how she managed this when they were all IMPERSONATORS), and the “overall feel” category while Annie was only given the integration with charity category.

Now there is something to be said for that… because even though Joan Rivers won… it brought her record EQUAL with Annie Duke on challenges.  They are now both 7-1 on team challenges, and 2-1 as project managers.  Now the real question should be… who was the better business person.  In all honesty… it was Annie Duke.  She remained calm, cool, and professional throughout the entire game while Joan Rivers did what she did best… which is be a drama queen with her mini-me drama princess.  Annie had the most money raised for both the season and the challenge, and she was actually able to get REAL Celebrities to the event.

Annie was the clear better businesswoman.

So imagine my ANGER when Joan Rivers was announced as the winner after once again acting unprofessionally, trying to deny the fact the designer quit because of her even though it was clearly shown during the finale, and with no respect for her opponent.

She touted herself as winning this competition with “honor”, and being a “role model” for American business.  If any of THAT is true… get ready for the REAL next Great Depression.  Joan Rivers is a dishonorable dirt squirrel, who if she is to actually become a role model would mean our children will be getting plastic surgery before kindergarten only to grow up to be friendless old lonely people.  How sad is that?

But you see there is no honor in her win.  She was not the best competitor.  It just so happens that her charity, God’s Love We Deliver has a Board of Directors.  On that Board of Directors as a Vice Chair is none other than Blaine Trump… Donald Trump‘s sister-in-law.  Normally in a contest like this, it would be considered a Conflict of Interest… you know how family members can’t participate in sweepstakes their family members work for and all that. 

I guess Trump thinks he’s exempt from that… just like Joan Rivers thinks she’s exempt from being an honorable and decent person in letting someone else speak.

Nepotism… the failed business model of America… is alive and well.

Tomorrow is coming…

Be prepared…

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