Personal
For as long as I can remember, Thanksgiving morning was spent eating a chocolate turkey while watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. The only two exceptions was the year my father took me to see the parade when I was around 6, and the year I marched in the parade with the Boy Scout contingent that followed Ben Vereen who was riding on a float.
I tried to keep the joy of traditions that I had as a child for DJ.
Chocolate turkeys, Saint Nicholas Day, the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, and of course Halloween were all days where a tradition in one form or another that I had throughout my life.
Of course, things don’t always work out the way we intend them. Chocolate turkeys ended up being eaten after dinner but before dessert. Saint Nicholas Day was a stocking the weekend before or after the actual day, depending entirely on which week I picked up an extra tour. The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree was a one time event in 2005 when it was bitter cold, and thanks more to some comp time I had coming as opposed to any sort of nagging tradition.
Which ultimately was the problem with tradition.
It wasn’t always convenient.
It tended to nag.
I hadn’t allowed tradition to nag… and therefore ultimately to lag.
categories: Personal Memories Remembering DJ
Decisions.
I make a lot of decisions on a daily basis in what I do.
I think alot about decisions I’ve made in the past, particularly in the decisions I made when it came to DJ. When I say alot… I mean ALOT.
I wonder about the decisions I made that at the time I thought was the best decision I could make with the options I had. I wonder about the decisions I made that at the time I thought was the most amicable. I wonder about the decisions I made that I thought were the “best for everyone” in that moment.
Now to be honest, it isn’t like I decided to do some sort of outrageous stunt like the father who decided that balloon-boy-hiding-in-the-attic-before-blowing-up-dad-on-CNN-and-puking-on-Good-Morning-America was a good idea. Nor did I make the decision as a mother did to write-a-scathing-blog-post-about-a-government-agency-to-get-paid-through-either-a-publisher-or-through-traffic-for-ads-only-to-be-proven-to-have-fabricated-the-accusations-by-9-video-cameras-released-to-the-world. The decisions I’m talking about are the decisions we make everyday in how we interact with others, how we prioritize our bill paying, and how we determine the happiness and quality (or lack thereof) of our lives.
I wonder if I had indeed chosen differently… if somewhere along the way I had made a different decision… if in fact I would not wake up most mornings fighting for a reason to get out of bed. The doubt creeps in… like a monster creeping out from under the bed in a veil of fog.
There is however one decision that I made with no thoughts of possible regret or misgivings.
The decision to blow the mortgage payment on costumes, candy, pumpkins, and to get a smoke machine that first Halloween in Pennsylvania.
Sure I was slightly financially irresponsible. Sure I neglected to do the “right thing” by the institution that month. I admit this. I worked extra shifts to make up for it… but the payment was late. I know this. I am okay with it.
I am okay with it because Halloween, at the time, was my most favorite holiday. I loved Halloween more than I loved even Groundhog’s Day. Halloween was a big deal to me. It was also a big deal to DJ and the Wolves. So I chose irresponsibility to bring joy to that house in Pennsylvania.
Out of all the decisions I think that may have been wrong, and all the decisions I know to have been wrong… that is the one decision I am totally proud of being wrong on.
Damn the man.
Save the Empire.
Trick or treat safely.
categories: Personal Memories Remembering DJ
4 years ago I spent 40 days and nights away from New York… and away from DJ. Sure it wasn’t a recreational journey but rather a work one. While I used that as justification to others and myself for the time away, it’s also true that I wasn’t required to spend that entire time away. I had been offered a relief that I had turned down from a sense of duty to others, which at the time was greater than a sense of duty to my son.
Guilt often hangs over me about that time… time that was lost… not because of requirements but because of choice… decisions I consciously made when I thought I had more time.
It also makes me wonder… what decisions am I making today that I will look back upon and realize that I lost time that I will never get back…
It has been 4,207,680 minutes since 9:59am on September 11, 2001. It was on that clear, crisp, perfectly blue skied Tuesday September morning where blood from all nations was spilled on American soil for the first time in 60 years, since the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941. My city, our nation, and everyone’s world was irrevocably changed.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
-Thomas Jefferson
For me, the heralds of that change was the sound through the dust cloud that had consumed me of American fighter jets above the city skies. To others that change was evident by what they saw on television, or maybe the longer security checkpoints at airports, or perhaps it was the so called political scare tactics they were subjected to attempting to justify the limiting of civil liberties, or even hugging their loved ones goodbye to fight the proverbial “war on terror” that has resulted in the spilling of more blood than I think anyone had ever expected.
That’s not what today is about. Today is not about remembering the evil that a person is capable of, the inconvenience of air travel, politicians we elected not preserving or rights and freedoms, or the debates about right and wrong in the quest for security of the homeland. You have 364 other days for all that.
Today is about remembering the conscious sacrifice made by one for another in their greatest time of need. Today is about remembering that while all sacrificed some… there are those who sacrificed all. I ask that you remember this today and leave everything else for another time.
It has been 4,207,680 minutes since the South Tower of the World Trade Center at Liberty Street and West Street collapsed. I ask that you specifically remember the following nine Emergency Medical Service Responders who perished in that collapse:
Carlos Lillo
Ricardo Quinn
Keith Fairben
Mark Schwartz
David Sullins
volunteer Zhe Zang
my friend Mario Santoro
my friend and vollie dispatcher Richard Pearlman
and my friend and partner Yamel Merino
All sacrificed some… some sacrificed all… so that others may live
categories: I'm A Cowboy Giving Cab Rides Saving Lives Personal The City
Summers used to be filled with hot dogs, sprinklers, and carousels…
Living in the apartment doesn’t give me the opportunity to grill outside like I used to. Sure, we make hot dogs up here in the oven, but it just isn’t the same charcoal grilled taste. Every now and then though… I can go over to my dad’s house, twist his arm, and grill up some doggies.
The sprinklers this year in both the park and the shopping center have been closed off to children. There were some changes in city codes that requires the sprinkler systems to have upgrades to their drainage system. Until those upgrades are made, kids can watch the water… but they shall not touch.
The carousel this summer has remained under lock and key. The city, due to the current financial situation, has been unable to open it or find a vendor willing to do so. It makes me sad to think that there are parents who are not having the opportunity to make memories with their children there this summer.
Thankfully I had the opportunity, and I took it…
Things in my surroundings may change… but the memories and love remains…
