Yin-Yang

So last night I drove from New York into the outskirts of Philadelphia to stay overnight for a meeting today.  I have to be honest… I’m not sure what exactly is going to happen at this training.  I have no idea what I’m actually being trained in.  I only know that they had me take one of those personality tests online where you pick one word that most describes you and one word that least describes.

Honestly, their lack of communication is disturbing.

Fortunately none of that is really here nor there… at least for you.  On the drive up I was talking to my Navigator and the topic came up about the recent move by the floundering and doomed Governor David Patterson to make Gay Marriage legal in New York State.  Our conversation sparked a bit of ponderous wandering in my mind.

Everyone remembers last weeks happy wonderful post about #AmazonFTW, right?  In that very post I pretty bluntly told everyone who had postured about boycotting Amazon to do so.  I called them out on their convictions, or lack thereof, as opposed to the convenience of free 2-Day shipping and wishlists.  As expected, just as their vocal judgments were a flash in the pan, so were their convictions and everything has returned to as normal as your going to get.

As I have previously mentioned, I am in fact against state endorsed same sex marriage.  For that matter, I am against state endorsed opposite sex marriage.  Now please do not take this as me being against marriage in its entirety, because that is not the case at all.  I am against the use of the word marriage in governmental legislature, ordinances, and licenses.  I believe the actual word marriage has a very long history as a religious term.  I am a Constitutional Literalist who believes that The Separation Of Church And State should include the adoption of religious terms for civil purposes.  I am for the same governmental benefits to be bestowed upon couples, whether they be same or opposite sex couples, who join in a civil state sanctioned union.  This is a belief I hold pretty damn firm.

So now what about “Gay Marriage”? 

Is my desire to see the word marriage returned to its religious foundings any less important to me?  Should I continue to hold fast to my belief in a TRUE separation of Church and State?  Is my conviction for Constitutional Literalism strong enough in this issue?

To be honest… I already know my answer… and I’m putting it below the fold… but what I really want to know is what about you?  Do you think you can be so convicted to a cause that you would be against something that you also are convicted to?

As I said… my answer is below the fold…

I was on the phone yesterday with a friend/old partner of mine.  Here’s the end of the conversation:

Me: Hey, lemme ask you a question, why do we talk and hang out?

Freakzilla: Whatcha talkin’ about?  Why what?

Me: Why are we friends?

Freakzilla: Are you stupid?  Did you roll your truck over and hit your head or something?

Me: No it’s a serious and legitimate question.  Why are we friends?

Freakzilla: Besides all the shit we’ve been through between 9/11, Flight 587, the van in the tree, Irving Plaza, and the thousands of other experiences we’ve shared, I think its because we’re movie and photo freaks.  We both also like the tatas.

Me: So its because we share both common experiences and interests.  What about our differences?

Freakzilla:  Are you sure you didn’t damage your brain or something?  Our differences?

Me: Yeah, our differences, the things about us that we don’t have in common.

Freakzilla:  Ya know what, I’ll have to get back to you on that.  That’s not what I focus on when making friends and influencing people so I’m gonna have to actually think about that.  I just got hit with a job so I gots ta go.  Lata gator.

Me: In awhile crocodile.

This past week race has been brought up repeatedly in both traditional media and the blogosphere. 

Attorney General Eric Holder called the United States “a nation of cowards” when it comes to race.  I have heard that a blogger received hate mail because she “doesn’t see color” when reading blogs on the internet.  I have unsubscribed from another blogger who felt the need to give her readers a class on “Racism 101”. 

Racism is not dead.  We cannot fool ourselves into thinking it is over and done with just because a man of color holds the highest office in the land.  Still we cannot deny that there has been progress, because it is this progress that proves things can get better and hope for equality is not lost for equality is not a myth.  I am here to tell you that we are beyond “Racism 101” and well into the 200 series.  As old challenges are overcome new ones arise and we must meet those head on instead of lingering over those that have already been overcome.  Those who harp on the past instead of working to the future will continue to live in the past.

I am here to tell you that if there is anywhere you can be color blind, it is here on the internet.  In fact you can be color blind, sex blind, nationality blind, height blind, weight blind, and class blind.  It was Martin Luther King Jr. who said in his I Have A Dream Speech, ”I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” That dream came true with the internet, and was proven to be possible in real life by the Presidential election.  Please feel free to send me your hate mail.

I am here to tell Eric Holder that the opposite is true.  We are in fact a Nation of Heroes, who in less time than it took to abolish slavery, have elected a man to the Presidency Of The United States based on his thoughts, his ideas, and his message instead of the color of his skin or the roots of his surname.  This was the fulfillment of a dream spoken about for so long and by so many.  By labeling those who have made the dream into reality the way you have is turning your back on the message of unity that made this progress possible.  I am not afraid about an honest conversation about race or racism, but it is important that the two are differentiated because they are indeed different things.

Nothing is wrong with celebrating our differences and embracing our individuality.  However by valuing differences over commonality we inflict a sense of isolationism unto ourselves and project the perception of being condemning of others.  Intense focusing on the differences between one another and valuing ours above all else is the very building block of racism itself.  It is the experience, interests, and like mindedness that we share which draws us naturally to one another which is what we focus on socially.  It is commonality and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.  Neither has truly anything to do with race.

So what is it that you and I have in common?  What are our differences?  Which do you value more?

So there is this madness drama controversy conversation going on about whether or not sending a non-Christian a card that says Merry Christmas is offensive or not.  Let me just say that while I completely agree with him, I can understand the basis of her point of view as well, although I find her radical conservative arguments extremely flawed.  Perhaps they sound that way because they are coming from an “opinionated ultra liberal” who is obliviously selfish and narcissistic, therefore at odds with herself.  Still, that is neither here nor there.

The part that irked me the most was the portrayal of victimization via Hallmark that was being put forth.  Is it really possible to become a victim by a greeting card?  If it is possible to consider yourself a victim through the evils of a greeting card company, can I consider myself a victim of Mead the notebook company for manufacturing all those black and white notebooks I had to write in during elementary school?  Has McDonald‘s victimized me by stripping all sandwiches off their dollar menu forcing me to eat only cookies for dinner?  Was Sears an accomplice when my mother made me a plaid fashion victim of the 80’s?

Self-victimization, in my opinion, is a bit out of control.  So to properly define exactly what a victim is via Merriam Webster…

Victim

vicĀ·tim

1: a living being sacrificed to a deity or in the performance of a religious rite
2: one that is acted on and adversely affected by a force or agent: as a (1): one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions (2): one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment (3): one that is tricked or duped

So using that definition, I can’t see how receiving a Hallmark card of any kind might cause any injury greater than a papercut, Mead has not destroyed my being through it’s lines on a page, my soul has not been sacrificed on the altar of Grimace for the Clown High Lord profits, but I do think that perhaps Sears did dupe my mother into thinking plaid was cool.  Even with that last one, I was not the one duped, and therefore I am an indirect victim… and therefore according to the definition not a victim at all.

There was one time where I could legitimately consider myself a victim.  I was around 17, it was during the holiday season, and I found myself on the wrong end of the mall surrounded by three guys who followed me from the subway and took my wallet at gun point.  I wasn’t injured, destroyed, or sacrificed… but I was the subject of mistreatment and there was a psychological hardship placed on me when I had to take the subway to and from that stop.  Still, I do not consider myself a victim of this crime against me.

I do not consider myself a victim because I would not allow myself to be victimized.  I still took that same subway to and from school everyday for the rest of the year, and while I would be lying if I said that there was no additional anxiety, I did not let that experience change the way I lived my life.  It was a learning experience in both subway safety and in the realization that I am the one who has power over me.  It would have been easy to hide myself behind the safety of my locked, chained, and bolted door.  It would have been easy to play to poor victim, held up at gunpoint, and never step foot into the subway again.  It would have been easy to do that… but by doing that I would have given over to the oppressors more than my money and credit card.  I would have given them my belief that humanity, in all its shapes and forms, have good intentions at heart.  I would have turned over my compassion and my ability to care for others, which comes in quite handy considering my profession today.  I would have denied myself the enjoyment of the diversity that the city, and the world, has to offer.

These very things are what I cherish today… and I have no intention of either becoming, or convinced through paranoia, that I am a victim by either a corporate monger practicing in the feeding frenzy of commercialism or by someone who intended only good wishes in their own way.  I am not just another victim… because I choose not to be.

Now I realize that not everyone thinks along the same lines as I do… and there really is nothing wrong with that.  It’s just a different perspective, and that’s really okay.  So do you think you are a victim?  What are you a victim of?