FOAD
I am seriously at a tipping point.
Maybe its because its the time of month when my hormones get all wacky. Maybe its because this weather has me worn down. Maybe its because I am still seeking some sort of internal balance that never existed. Maybe its because no matter how many times I see someone take their final trip… it always hits harder when its someone you actually know. Maybe its because I’ve kept things like this held back and pent up in the greater interest of keeping peace that at this point the pot has finally tipped.
I am talking about ranting, raving, and ripping into people who act with obnoxiously self-absorbed ambient stupidity.
I used to have a whole category filled with rants and raves of various sorts. Eventually I moved away from it… because while I may have initially felt better about that ventilation of emotion, it was at the same time feeding a furnace that was slowly starting to consume me. I realized that doing it wouldn’t be the easiest thing to do for myself, but I would have thought it would be easier the more I did it and I could let things go easier. That hasn’t been the case. In fact… if anything… not releasing on that stuff seems to make it fester more.
So here’s the deal… if you want everything to be sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns then click here.
If you’ve strapped yourself in with your shit helmet on, are over the age of 18, and understand the following may not be safe for work then you can continue on in the extended post…
… since a good old FOAD Thursday post! It’s been awhile since I spat some venom and told the people and things that have pissed me off to fuck off and die… so there’s a bit of pissed offness stored up. Let’s begin then shall we…
The first FOAD goes out to the people at the gas station who feel the need to block two pumps. As if it isn’t bad enough that we’re getting anally raped by Exxon, then we have to deal with waiting while some 90 year old guy, who probably mowed down 27 people on his way to the gas station because he shouldn’t be driving to begin with, has to park his car blocking two pumps. This therefore makes us wait for him to finish figuring out the self serve, filling up his car, and then dragging his geriatric ass to the counter for lotto tickets before vacating the premises. There would always could be the option of another pump… but that would then put us pointed in the wrong direction. So why be in the wrong direction when all it would take is this idiot to sit at one pump? FOAD gas pump hogger.
Next I want to send an FOAD out to the illiterate twits that have suddenly “discovered” Borders. Seriously. I was there this past weekend for my usual ice coffee and perusal. While waiting to order my ice coffee this Twit in front of me places her order, hands them the money, and then stands there. She completely ignores the sign with an arrow that reads “Beverage Pick-up”. Then when I walk over to where the Splenda/Cream, she’s standing there pouring sugar into her coffee. She’s talking to this dweeb that she’s with… who in all likelihood thinks she’s the bestest thing since sliced white bread… and he just stands there nodding. Then, when I reach past him for the cream, he gives me this look like I just grabbed his balls or something. I ignore him, because I have the MP3 Player kicking like normal. I almost asked her if she wanted some coffee with her sugar, but I kept my mouth shut.
So I go peruse the sci-fi section (got Sons Of Fenris by Lee Lightner), do a fiction section walk through (got American Gods by Neil Gaiman of Sandman fame), and finally through the “specials” section (got The HardCore Diaries by Mick Foley) after rambling through the rest of the store. So then I go to get online. I crossed paths with the Twit twice through the store.
Now standing at the front of the line for the next cashier, there is no one behind me as I stand beside the big sign that reads, ”Line Starts Here”. So the cashier opens up, I walk up, and guess who I happen to arrive simultaneously with? Right, the Twit. So the cashier sadly tells the Twit that the line starts where I was standing.
She’s all like, “No way! Where does it say that?”
“Where the sign that reads ‘Line Starts Here’ is,” I replied… and yes… I snickered okay. I admit it.
She then gets huffy and says, “Oh like I’m supposed to read that?”
I then replied, “You do realize your in a fucking bookstore right? You do realize that you READ books, right? Since your a fucking illiterate, why don’t you go back to the kid’s section where it’s story time, kay?”
At this point, her mouth was wide open. I don’t know what planet she lives on… but apparently I’m the earth welcoming wagon. She turned and hurried off… undoubtedly to cry because of my vulgarity. Oh well. FOAD illiterate Twits. Stay the fuck out of my bookstore.
Finally… Peace and Love this week goes out to horny little cashier boys who think they’re men. Here’s a clue fuckers… if your stupid enough to drool over an underage illiterate mindless Twit… and then SO blinded with rage after she is called exactly what she is… you still have a job to do. Ring up the product your store is trying to sell. Oh but no… let’s punish the Big Bad Vulgar Pissed Off Guy with the STFU t-shirt by NOT ringing up the books he wants to purchase. Really intelligent… because then the Big Bad Vulgar Pissed Off Guy with the STFU t-shirt is going to want to see your manager. Your manager by the way has a clue… and will therefore instruct you to ring up the Big Bad Vulgar Pissed Off Guy with the STFU t-shirt… who will also get a free issue of Maxim for his trouble.
Didn’t anyone ever tell you… the customer’s always right? Even when its about other customers? Peace and Love little cashier boys… Peace and Love…
I know today is supposed to be FOAD Thursday.
I know I normally have really good FOADs.
I know recently I have sucked in this.
I know I have my reasons for not being so pissy at the world.
I know you want to know.
I know I’m not telling.
However… I would like to say that not only did I lose 90 minutes of my life today to corporate mongering at its finest with total corporate propaganda being spewed. Of course… they had to go to their corporate playbook when they were called, and I quote, “fucking idiots”. Yeah… so my punishment? I get to repeat the process for the next month until their corporate mantra is instilled in me. Ontop of it all? Hazmat Tech recert class this weekend with a drill attached. We recert for the holiday season every year… but now they’re saying since this hurricane season is supposed to match 2005… well we need to drill for it too.
Oh… and I lost my lead for Best VideoBlogger. First, the YouTube Blog took the lead… but now we’ve both been outdistanced by none other than mutha-fucking Rosie O’Donnell. That to me is total bullshit considering a 4 year old can blog better than her illiterate ass. WTFeva.
So yeah. I got stuff to FOAD… just no desire to do it… because it really isn’t bothering me.
Today is FOAD Thursday. Normally I have a whole slew of stuff to rant about. However… I’ve been off work this past week and its been pretty stress free. I actually feel… well… kinda normal. I’m also unusually tolerant. However, there is one thing I need to FOAD. Unfortunately though, I don’t know who is in what time zone and whether or not they have seen this week’s episode by DVR yet or not. Therefore I will place the rest of the post below the fold.
If you have NOT seen the episode of American Idol that aired on April 4, 2007… then you have been forewarned that what lays below the fold WILL contain spoilers. Once you’ve seen it… feel free to come back and read unless of course you really don’t care in which case you can start reading right away.
So here is this week’s singular FOAD…
… ‘cause today is Fuck Off And Die Thursday!!!! Can I get a “Rawwwr”? I can’t hear you… c’mon… all together now… “RAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR!”
My first FOAD is directed at stupid ex-husbands. Yeah I know… there are times when I can be one… but this one in particular is because of Pudding‘s first ex. Next week is the week the kids are off from school for the Passover/Easter break. So as usual, I was taking DJ and he was taking the other wolves. Now I had the entire week planned out… there was zoo day, park day X 2, circus day (Ringling Bros came into town last night… but more on that tomorrow), and movie day. A full week with a 6 year old filled with activities that should keep us busy. I have off from work… which is rare… and with the exception of payroll on Monday, wasn’t planning on seeing the place. Now I find out tonight from Pudding that he isn’t taking his share. I spit nails because now I have all these plans and it’s for shit. I already told her I’m still taking him… and if she decides to go away on one of his other vacations, I’ll take him again but I need notice. It’s just majorly fucked, and he needs to FOAD.
My next FOAD goes out to those who are pussies. Yeah… those who say, “Oh he yelled at me!” or “He was nasty!”. You. Are. A. Pussy. Want nasty? I can give you nasty. Want to get yelled at? I’ll yell so loud the soundwaves will smack your momma in Okinawa in the back of her empty head. Why is momma’s head empty? Well she had you… and failure to use birth control is an empty minded thing to do when your inbreeding. True, most of the time I am laid back. When shit hits the fan, I move fast. Keep up. When you don’t… I don’t think you hear me. If I’m quick on the phone… that’s because we’re done and you just don’t realize it yet. You. Are. A. Pussy. FOAD already.
FOAD to people who cannot make decisions when other people are counting on you.
FOAD to the bitch who took my parking spot at Dunkin’ Donuts this morning. I had NO Ice Coffee today.
Finally, Peace and Love goes out to corporate monger Circuit City who is firing 3400 workers to replace them with less skilled and cheaper labor. This means they must be hiring illegals who will sell you the wrong shit or are trying to put more people who work for them on Public Assistance.
It really is unbelievable that as prices go up these companies want to pay people less. It’s almost as if they are saying to their employees, “You can work here… we just don’t want you to be able to shop here.” If they need to save money THAT badly then why not start with the guy who came up with THAT brilliant idea! It’s moments like these that make me sick over the state of affairs here in the US. Everyone knows I’m not political, or spout political beliefs, or any of that other shit… but this to me is not political. This is social… and I am all about exposing society for the mind numbing institution it is. This isn’t really mind numbing… it’s just plain fucked up.
I bet you’re wondering what you can do to stop Corporate Mongers like this. It’s simple. Boycott Circuit City. Blog about it. Raise awareness. Raise some hell too. Tell them to FOAD… and show them the Peace and Love…
