Giving Cab Rides

Not for nothing… but there was no mistaking it this past night.  It is definitely Cinco de Mayo, and the city was jumping.  Normally I may take a moment and retell one example of stupidity that I witnessed in humanity… but to be honest they were all stupid… and there were too many to keep track of.  Normally its a 2-3 call night tops… last night was technically 7, although I never once transported a patient.  Go figure.

So here’s a little Tequila in honor of Cinco de Mayo…

Oh.  Not what you had in mind?  Well… there’s always this little tid-bit…

So if your celebrating today… just don’t do anything too stupid… or be sure to drink enough to forget what you did… but not enough to feel the need to dial 911, k?

Want an example?  Go watch Avitable’s Vlog.

So I spent another night cruising the streets at The Hills.  It was a relatively quiet night tonight, although as KC pointed out the moon was pretty big in the sky.  The weather was warmer so there were definitely more people out.  The truly defining moment of the night happened around 1:00am while on our first round coffee run over at the Dunkin’ Donuts where New Guy was.

You may recall that New Guy isn’t quite new.  In fact he started working there when I still worked with Freakzilla on Fifty-One-Do-It-All… so it’s a good 4-5 years he’s been there.  Still… we call him New Guy.  Tonight, New Guy told us that next week, we would have the new guy New Guy.  Make sense?  It didn’t to us either… but it turns out that old New Guy is going to New Jersey.  I have no idea what it is he is going to do… but its a move he feels he needs to make and we wish him the best of luck.  Things got a little teary there for a few minutes… and of course I am now dreading going back there next week because who knows what I’m going to end up with.  I’m going to miss New Guy.  We all will.  So… we took a picture.

Now once we left the store, there was a crowd outside the bar next door.  Apparently we had walked out into the middle of a dispute.  So we casually walked by our ambulances and waited for the police to show up.  Sure enough… they were there within a minute.  It was two guys we know… so no big deal.  They asked us about it and we just shrugged and told them we were getting coffee when it happened. 

So “it” turns out to be an “assault” according to a thin, and relatively attractive female.  The conversation went something like this:

Complainant: “I was assaulted!”
Officer: “Are you hurt anywhere?”
Complainant:”No, but I feel so violated!”
Officer: “Did he hit you anywhere?”
Complainant: “No, but I am a victim!”
Officer: “So what did he do to you?”
Compainant: “He took a picture of me!”
Officer: “He did what?”
Complainant: “He took a picture of me with the flash!  He’s going to put it on his MySpace!”
Officer: “He took a picture of you?”
Complainant: “With the flash!”
Officer: “With the flash.  Are you serious?”
Complainant: “Of course I am!  Is this going to be on Cops?”

I bet you think I am making this up… but you CAN’T make this up!  She honestly felt she was assaulted because a guy got a photo snapped with her for his MySpace.  Both luckily and unfortunately I had put the new camera away so I could not be accused of being the assaulter nor was I able to capture this lunatic on camera.

There are a lot of people out there who really have no clue, and there are some people out there who take their MySpace pages a little too seriously.  Put them together and you get a 9-1-1 call.  Go figure.