Drama
So… guess who has ‘net back @ home? Yup… I do! Of course… all they did was swap the cable modem. It would have been easier had they just sent one by mail… but whatever. The fact is I’m back up and running like a junkie in need of a fix.
NetFlix also sent me the receipt e-mails for my videos, and my new ones are supposedly on the way. What’s even funnier is that they sent me an e-mail about improving service and what not… and asked me when I mailed the videos back. So maybe FOADing on the ‘Net is better than I thought. Maybe some lackey of NetFlix read it… and maybe… just maybe they will make sure it never happens again. Of course it could just be chance… or karma.
As for some drama… because while I don’t necessarily mention it… I know that is one of the reasons you come here… I am after all The King of All Drama… well this week’s is brought to you by The Nick. So I get a text message from her yesterday saying that she woke up and has a horrible cramp in her neck. So therefore she can’t work. I text back quite literally, ”R u kidding?” to which I didn’t get a reply.
Now last night when she came in she claimed it was something she gets, and it is muscular, and blah blah blah. The thing is, I know the truth. I know that the Cracker she’s going out with probably had her contorted into a bunch of weird positions from the Kama Sutra. Yep. That’s what it was. It was probably ”The Waterfall” that you see here. Yep. I think that’s the one. It’s drama I tell you… total drama.
During a recent e-mail conversation I was asked if my mom reads my blog. The answer is no. She does know about Cereal Wednesday… because I had to kind of explain the big bowl that ended up in her dishwasher and all the boxes of half-eaten cereal I was giving her. Of course… just in case she comes out of the dark ages… well I’m sticking the Sex Meme I’m stealing from Avitable below the fold… you know… just in case…
. Lacy bras 
categories: It's All About Me Personal Drama The Nick
So I know I’ve pretty much veered away from the drama that I am normally associated with, and for a few reasons. However, after the occurrences of this past week, well I can veer no more. Why? Maybe it’s because it is something I need to put out there. Maybe it’s because it is something that needs to be said. Maybe it’s because I know you all like a good train wreck the same as I do… and trust me… this train has wrecked.
So this week’s bit of drama is brought to you by The Nick. So The Nick is still going out with the same Cracker she was when last we spoke of her. She was the girl with the whole commitment phobia thing going on, but has seemed to overcome it with this relationship in particular. So hey… that’s all well and good. She’s a pretty girl, she has a good heart, and she deserves to be happy right? I don’t begrudge her this happiness in anyway shape or form. There are a few things though… that I do require.
I require there to be minimal verbal “muahs” and other indicative phone conversations in my presence. I require that my phone calls be answered whether in the foreplay, mid-passionate thrust, or orgasmic after glow stages of sexual relations. I require that he not break her heart… lest I will break his legs. Above all other things, I require honesty… and I require him to be honest with her whether or not his honesty will get him laid that night or not. Really, I’m not to demanding on the relationships of my friends.
Monday I called her to ask if she wanted to come into work to cover for someone who had banged out at the last minute due to a fat lip (long story… but I swear… it was quite bloated and puffy). She sort of brushed me off. So I thought she was doing the hunky-dunky with the Cracker. I was slightly pissed because, well, I need to come first even if she is in a rolling wave of orgasmic bliss. Eventually we texted each other, and she said she’d come in. So on Monday… imagine my shock when she came to work and I saw that this had happened… (WARNING! IT MAY SHOCK YOU!)
… well you can imagine what went through my head. Yes… she did THAT to her hair. My raven haired beauty had no doubt fallen under this hypnotic spell of this Cracker who forced her to make her hair… well… blonde. Now granted, my reaction to it when I first saw it (I screamed and then hid under the desk) was not as… supportive… as perhaps it should have been. Perhaps when asked what I thought about it I should have chosen better wording than, “I think it’s hideous.” Perhaps I should not have threatened her that I would not be going to Dee‘s with her looking like that.
Perhaps I should not have compared the look to being equal to a Predator Squirrel body being wove into the top of her head. Perhaps I should not have reminded her of my “non-blonde” mantra. Perhaps I should not have pointed out that co-worker Kitty is the ONLY blonde I actually like as a blonde… but that’s only because otherwise she has so much gray hair I think I’m talking to my grandmother. So maybe there are a lot of “perhapses” that occurred that I am not entirely innocent in being nonsupporting of this hair decision.
categories: Personal Drama The Nick The Steff
First and foremost however I would like to alert you to a current attempt to break the Class B NYC Subway Riding Record. Rapid Transit Challenge has an update blog on the attempt by 5 New Yorkers to break the current record of 26 hours, 21 minutes, and 8 seconds. Their attempt differs from the one this past summer in that they will be stopping at each and every station instead of just riding through it. I have to give these guys props on the attempt… simply because riding the subway can be a hellish experience on just a regular daily commute as SubwayBlogger shows time and time again. Best of luck to them!So here is a list I did of Things Not To Do In 2006. I didn’t do TOO bad with the list. I didn’t crash an ambulance this year (yet) and I didn’t quit my job… so I figured I would do the same thing for 2007 since I seem to do better with the list of things NOT to do as opposed to the lists of things TO do…
10) I will NOT allow my EMT card to laps- Meaning I need to sign up for a January refresher after I blew off the November one
9) I will NOT crash an ambulance- Maybe we can make it two years in a row! Woo-hoo!
8) I will NOT drink Jack and Coke in copious amounts
7) I will NOT have as great expectations when Hurricane Season rolls around, lest I be disappointed as I was this year
6) I will NOT allow myself to fall into a depressive state so as to require medication or therapy
5) I will NOT spend money I do not have anymore
4) I will NOT bring violence home with me- I only broke two lamps this year (and they were pretty shitty lamps at that)… so I’m definately getting better
3) I will NOT concern myself with things beyond my control
2) I will NOT torture myself about things done/not done in the past, but rather work towards a better future
1) I will NOT be posting about anymore drama… at least until I can do it right
Yeah… you read number 1 right. No more drama. I know this endangers my self-crowned title of the King of all Drama… but to be honest I have some good reasons behind this. Besides the fact that most people don’t know the difference between The Steff and The Nick, Pudding and Christine, or Mel and the Ooompa Loompas… well I just think that it is probably better served being read by those I know to be reading it.
See… the fight Christine and I had before Christmas was about a few things I had written here over this past year. Surprisingly, or not, it wasn’t anything written about her that was troublesome. Now you’re probably wondering why she should care what I write about other people… but the truth is she is a very good friend… and being such a good friend she accused me of something that I vehemently deny. In fact, I still deny it to this very moment… even though I know deep down… she is right.
To try and resolve these issues I have, normally, I would blog about them. However, in light of her astute awareness of the truth behind my denials that was garnered from this very place, I really can’t do it here. Not for fear of her… but if I am as transparent in it as she has made me feel… well out here in the open is not the right place to be transparent. This place is searchable to anyone who has a clue on how to find things… and while I like to think that those who will see through the denials aren’t as ‘Net savvy as I am… I’m sure that to a certain degree they’re better than I give them credit for.
So there will not be anymore drama here… but you should know that the drama will be alive and well. In fact it has found a nice home in a journal I keep at the side of my bed. Perhaps one day my demons will be exorcised of it, or perhaps I will shirk the mantle of embarrassment from it, or even better… maybe I’ll be able to make private posts where only a select few will be able to read it. Until then… the real life drama as it unfolds will not be seen here anymore.
Let the celebration begin.
To be honest, the only real drama was with The Nick and her cracker boyfriend. So Ms. I M FraidO’Commitment has now been with Crackerhead for 2 months. It’s definitely a new record. I’m not sure if I should be congratulating him or offering him condolences since she’s apparently going to Canada this weekend to undoubtedly hook up with some Canadian she met way back in like September. WTFeva.
One of the reasons for this lack of drama is some shit that I discovered Wednesday that was going on. That in itself has created its own drama, because I was supposed to go hang out with The Steff Wednesday night but I ducked out of it. I ducked out of hanging out with her last night too, which brought on the, “Dontcha miss me?” and “Do you still love me?” questions. Even though I tried to reassure her that yes I missed her and yes I still love her, I just had some stuff going on, well she can put the most cynical and depressed bitch to shame and I doubt she believes me. The holidays are usually when her alter ego, Miss Miserable, comes out in her… and usually we commiserate together enough to make each other genuinely smile. Hopefully my issues will be settled by tomorrow and we can hang out.
On a completely separate note I need to bestow some advice on all the married men in the world and will probably piss off some of my female readers. There’s this thing that the credit card companies will do when your wife max’s out a credit card. If she does it while you are married, then they will hold you responsible for it in the vast majority of states. If she does it while you are married, and then you get divorced, they will STILL hold YOU responsible for it and they WILL collect their money unless it is specified in the divorce paperwork the amount of debt, the company, and who is responsible for payment and then ordered so by a judge. So what you really need to do when getting divorced is have your soon to be ex-wife’s credit run, and get all that shit listed as being paid by her. This means they will eventually seize control of your bank accounts until you pay them if you don’t make those certain stipulations clear. Oh, and their timing is usually the absolute worst it could be.
I’m going back to my pillow to drool some more.
Your New Version Of Blogger Is Ready!!!
The new version of Blogger now has all the original features you’re used to, plus new post labels, drag-and-drop template editing, and privacy controls. And, it’s a lot more reliable.After you switch you’ll need to sign in with your Google Account, but your blogs will stay the same. Their content and layout will not change.
Oh hell no. Maybe if the ORIGINAL Blogger worked properly… then I might be willing… but nah. Not gonna happen. I’m staying old school as long as I possibly can.
.:*:.
Now on to the drama… there hasn’t been too much craziness… just enough to fill a few lines. Last Friday while at work Pudding decided to drop in. She was getting her mini-vans windows tinted and wanted my truck. Of course… I was stuck in the middle of some chaotic shit on one of the main boards… so I just tossed her the keys. She then proceeded to wag her tail feathers and kiss me on the cheek before leaving, making sure everyone saw. What. The. Fuck. We are DIVORCED!!! It was pretty obvious she was in her mind marking her territory in front of my female co-workers. Worse was she brought the truck back late… and now the transmission is bucking. She did however finally come up with the lists for the Wolves. I just hope the tranny doesn’t go before Christmas.
Saturday I was supposed to go have lunch with The Steff and Mel. Mel was nowhere to be found. The Steff overslept of course, so instead we went and got coffee and did some shopping in The Hills. I absolutely adore shopping with The Steff… in fact she is probably the only female I will voluntarily go shopping with. We go in, look around, and then boom we’re out. So we did the leather store, shoe store, Bannana Republic, and Bed Bath and Beyond in all of 30 minutes. She picked up a few things for some co-workers and friends… and she even bought me a rubber ducky of my color choice (classic yellow although if they would have had orange…) for Xmas. She’s still looking for that “perfect” gift for The Donkey. I suggested the purple rubber ducky… and got the evil eye for me effort.Sunday I got to spend 90 minutes on line to go see the fat man in the red suit with DJ. I’ve come to the conclusion, based on the kids in that line, that he really doesn’t have that many houses to visit come Christmas Eve. I’ve also come to the conclusion that photos with him are following the economy. So after 90 minutes and $40, we now have the picture that will go on the cards for the family. Yeah… I still have to pay for those too.
Finally… the grand old company party was Wednesday night. I chose to work instead of going… first time in 12 years mind you that I have missed this party. I know for a fact I had a better time talking to a beautiful woman when the quote of the day regarding the party was, “Well this year the food sucked the same, the liquor sucked the same, but they gave no one any awards or recognition so apparently we’re all shit.” However… apparently my non-appearance has caused a bit of a stir among the faithful. Oh well.
Okay… so that was more than a few lines. I should apologize for being misleading… but as they say in Mother Russia… toughshitskies.
On a final note… the deadline for this year’s Holiday Cards will be this Sunday. If you don’t e-mail me your address at nycwatchdog(at)apileofdogbones.com by Sunday… you will not get this year’s edition of the Holiday Card… which by the way is destined to become a collector’s item.
