So Tuesday night was the company holiday party.  In the 13 holiday parties that have been held since I started working there, I’ve attended 12.  I missed last years because I covered for a few other people so they could go an enjoy themselves.  Twelve years of parties should be enough, right?

This year I unintentionally RSVPed in September.  One of those things where your asked, “Your going to come right?” by a very beautiful woman who has planned the last eleven parties… and of course you nod yes because you’re too busy being entranced by the scent of her vanilla perfume.  So… I was gently reminded of this a few weeks ago… and knew I had to go.

The thing is, I knew if I could find a reason, I would skip it.  Knowing myself as well as I do… I made a commitment to another person to attend with them.  Yes… a date.  I’m surprised the identity of the date hasn’t been posted on Perez yet… ‘cause you know… who would be insane enough to go with me?  Sure enough… in the hours leading up to the party… I was looking for ways out.  I was looking for the escape clause.  Yet, I had to go because my date had actually taken the day off from work to go with me.

So, yeah… we went.  Of course, she was awesome… she was charming, witty, funny, and best of all… she swooped in and got me away from people as soon as someone made mention of my “loss”.  This was my greatest fear… to end up curled in a ball in the corner of the room an uncontrollable emotional mess.  I’m also sure that her copious amounts of cleavage distracted many of the people there from even broaching the subject… and for that I am eternally greatful.  Best of all… she didn’t expect me to dance!  How awesome is she!!!

My second greatest fear was the food… and to end up curled in a ball in the corner of the room uncontrollably regurgitating the calamari.  If you’ve ever even seen regurgitated calamari… then you know what I mean.  Of course, my third greatest fear was that they’d be using the below top shelf alcohol.  For this… I owe the power of Miss Britt who not only controls weather… but apparently bartenders as well, with this comment…

Here’s crossing my fingers for good booze.

The alcohol was definitely top shelf.  Another wonderful side effect of having a date… I didn’t get totally wrecked but rather peaked and then maintained with good old Jack Daniels and my dearest oldest comfort beverage, Coca-Cola.  So the liquor was good… and seeing people I haven’t seen in a social setting in a long time was good as well.

My old partner Freakzilla was there… and of course we got blamed for extending the universal EMS sign for Peace and Love to one of the guys from another division who we overheard talking shit about one of our other partners… and who promptly went to the HR manager to complain… and who was promptly told by said manager that “What happens at the Holiday party, stays at the Holiday party.” This of course was a relatively shocking thing… considering the battles I have waged with HR in the past.

So all in all… I had a good time.  Probably the most relaxing time I’ve had with real people in a long time.  It was… well it was good.  I didn’t expect to write that… but yeah… it was surprisingly good.

Oh.  You wanted to know who my date was?  Really?  Well… okay… if you insist…