… since a good old FOAD Thursday post!  It’s been awhile since I spat some venom and told the people and things that have pissed me off to fuck off and die… so there’s a bit of pissed offness stored up.  Let’s begin then shall we…

The first FOAD goes out to the people at the gas station who feel the need to block two pumps.  As if it isn’t bad enough that we’re getting anally raped by Exxon, then we have to deal with waiting while some 90 year old guy, who probably mowed down 27 people on his way to the gas station because he shouldn’t be driving to begin with, has to park his car blocking two pumps.  This therefore makes us wait for him to finish figuring out the self serve, filling up his car, and then dragging his geriatric ass to the counter for lotto tickets before vacating the premises.  There would always could be the option of another pump… but that would then put us pointed in the wrong direction.  So why be in the wrong direction when all it would take is this idiot to sit at one pump?  FOAD gas pump hogger.

Next I want to send an FOAD out to the illiterate twits that have suddenly “discovered” Borders.  Seriously.  I was there this past weekend for my usual ice coffee and perusal.  While waiting to order my ice coffee this Twit in front of me places her order, hands them the money, and then stands there.  She completely ignores the sign with an arrow that reads “Beverage Pick-up”.  Then when I walk over to where the Splenda/Cream, she’s standing there pouring sugar into her coffee.  She’s talking to this dweeb that she’s with… who in all likelihood thinks she’s the bestest thing since sliced white bread… and he just stands there nodding.  Then, when I reach past him for the cream, he gives me this look like I just grabbed his balls or something.  I ignore him, because I have the MP3 Player kicking like normal.  I almost asked her if she wanted some coffee with her sugar, but I kept my mouth shut.

So I go peruse the sci-fi section (got Sons Of Fenris by Lee Lightner), do a fiction section walk through (got American Gods by Neil Gaiman of Sandman fame), and finally through the “specials” section (got The HardCore Diaries by Mick Foley) after rambling through the rest of the store.  So then I go to get online.  I crossed paths with the Twit twice through the store.

Now standing at the front of the line for the next cashier, there is no one behind me as I stand beside the big sign that reads, ”Line Starts Here”.  So the cashier opens up, I walk up, and guess who I happen to arrive simultaneously with?  Right, the Twit.  So the cashier sadly tells the Twit that the line starts where I was standing.

She’s all like, “No way!  Where does it say that?”

“Where the sign that reads ‘Line Starts Here’ is,” I replied… and yes… I snickered okay.  I admit it.

She then gets huffy and says, “Oh like I’m supposed to read that?”

I then replied, “You do realize your in a fucking bookstore right?  You do realize that you READ books, right?  Since your a fucking illiterate, why don’t you go back to the kid’s section where it’s story time, kay?”

At this point, her mouth was wide open.  I don’t know what planet she lives on… but apparently I’m the earth welcoming wagon.  She turned and hurried off… undoubtedly to cry because of my vulgarity.  Oh well.  FOAD illiterate Twits.  Stay the fuck out of my bookstore.

Finally… Peace and Love this week goes out to horny little cashier boys who think they’re men.  Here’s a clue fuckers… if your stupid enough to drool over an underage illiterate mindless Twit… and then SO blinded with rage after she is called exactly what she is… you still have a job to do.  Ring up the product your store is trying to sell.  Oh but no… let’s punish the Big Bad Vulgar Pissed Off Guy with the STFU t-shirt by NOT ringing up the books he wants to purchase.  Really intelligent… because then the Big Bad Vulgar Pissed Off Guy with the STFU t-shirt is going to want to see your manager.  Your manager by the way has a clue… and will therefore instruct you to ring up the Big Bad Vulgar Pissed Off Guy with the STFU t-shirt… who will also get a free issue of Maxim for his trouble.

Didn’t anyone ever tell you… the customer’s always right?  Even when its about other customers?  Peace and Love little cashier boys… Peace and Love…