So it has been a few weeks since I have sent out a resounding and hearty FOAD… and that’s a little bit overdue… so let’s begin then shall we?

My first FOAD has to go to the drivers of New York who panic at the first sight of white powder.  No… not THAT white powder… I am referring to the two inches of snow we got unexpectedly last night into today.  For whatever reason, Hyundai driver’s think they are driving tanks.  So after driving through three different accident scenes today with these small little cars, I have come to the conclusion that the drivers who buy these cars really have NO idea what the hell they are doing behind the wheel… so they need to FOAD.

My next FOAD goes to drunk bastards at Dunkin’ Donuts.  Now when I work my Friday nights into Saturday mornings on the bus, we generally make two trips to a DD staffed by one guy who we call… well… New Guy.  Now I have been calling New Guy by that name since 2003 when he replaced the other guy who worked the tour while I was working with Freakzilla on Fifty-One-Do It All because that corner was where we were stationed.  So going into New Guy‘s, we normally yell, ”New Guy!!!”.  Granted, we’re louder than they are at Cheers, but you get the idea.  The problem is, like what happened this past weekend, occasionally a few drunks from the bar next door come in and have some coffee to try and sober up before driving home.  So we go in, yell our greeting, and these drunks in the back start “muttering loudly” about how “wrong” and “cruel” and “mean” we are… because we call him New Guy.  Luckily I’ve been in a pretty decent mood… but I know one day I’m not going to be in a good mood and I’ll be opening a can of whoop ass on one of them.  So before I do… FOAD.  He’s been my New Guy for 4 fucking years… and he makes my coffee right.

My next FOAD goes to whoever came up with this bright idea of changing Daylight Savings Time.  Yeah… don’t trust your computer to change automatically if you have it… it will be THIS weekend.  I think it was Congress who dreamed this up.  Now I’m all for the extra hour of trick-or-treating in the winter, but not feeling the whole thing in the spring.  I just find it to be more complex than it really needs to be.  Set the dates and stick by them… so that when we plan on NOT working that night, our plans don’t get jacked up by your innate desire to add extra hours.  What REALLY kills me is this is from the Energy Act of 2005, but the government has rarely mentioned it and news outlets have only started reporting it late last week and this week.  So FOAD Congress… luckily I have sick time stored up.

Finally… I would like to show some Peace and Love to the people at the supermarket this past week when I was cereal shopping.  Now generally… I buy 4 or 5 boxes of cereal in one shot so I’m not at the store every week.  This time, there was a sale on Double Stuff Oreos… $1.99 with the card which was down from $3.49.  So I grabbed two packs… ‘cause I my Double Stuff.  So I got onto the EXPRESS checkout for 8 items or less cash only.  I had 6 items.  The woman in front of me had 24.  She had 3 of everything.  Literally.  The cashier tried to explain to her that she could only have 8 items.  This bitch pitched a fit so loud… the manager got involved.  She’s hemmin, and hawin, and whineying (yes… I said this bitch was whineying like a fucking horse) about how she only had “8” items.  I got a bit heated.  Then the manager says, “Ok… we’ll check you out here.” Now I’m really getting heated.  Once the total is rung up… what does this bitch do???  She hands them her debit card.  I damn near almost spontaneously combusted right there on the spot.  I hate people.  Peace and Love dumb ass grocery store people…