News
One of the things that has always amazed me about this city is its icon status. What I mean in particular is the popularity of the Manhattan Skyline, the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, and Times Square. This type of icon status around the world is often misleading… and sometimes we New Yorkers fall into it as well. I realized that from my last post when I continually mentioned “the city” when in reality I should have said Manhattan. To an outsider it may not seem a big deal… but to myself as an actual New Yorker I find it appalling. Yeah… I appalled myself… big surprise there. The truth is that New York City is much more diverse… with things such as the 1964 World Fair grounds in Flushing Meadows Queens, Yankee Stadium in the Bronx, Coney Island in Brooklyn, and the Fresh Kills landfill in Staten Island. These are the most popular icons I can think of that an outsider MAY be familiar with in the four other boroughs.
There is one icon, however, that spans across all the boroughs. The New York City Subway. Most tourists in NYC will take not of the colorful signs, and perhaps will even venture down to the subterranean world. Others will avoid it like the plague. New Yorkers… well… it has just become a part of life as both one of the most beautiful and nastiest places in the city. So it is no wonder that the City of New York has launched a campaign of giving out free condoms bearing NYC Subway lettering. They are the ”OFFICIAL NYC CONDOM”… for all the beautiful places… and the nasty ones… you want to go.
The condoms are actually LifeStyle condoms branded by NYC… the first city to do so that I’m aware of. The fact they used the Subway lettering is rather ironic… the Subway being miles of tunnel that are undoubtedly dark… and at most times damp or wet. It is also ironic because while the condoms are being given out free… the only free thing you’ll get from the Subway is usually a disease of some sort. So why do I bring this all up? Have I suddenly gone all Subway Bloggery? Hardly. The truth is… well… I got 100 of them.
So what to do with 100 OFFICIAL NYC Condoms? I should use them of course… but considering my right paw is the closest thing to a date as I’ve gotten in over a year… the chances are I won’t be needing them emergently. I did consider selling them on E-Bay… but I get the feeling I may be hunted down for selling city property since they are being given out free of charge. Then I was thinking I could use them as decorations so when female friends come over they may be incentivized to try an OFFICIAL NYC Condom out… but I do have small ones coming over every now and then and that may not be such a good idea. Then I thought maybe I could use them as party favors… but then I’d have to have a party… and I generally hate other people… so that’s not a great idea either. Then I thought that maybe… just maybe… I could use them for Subway jobs instead of the latex gloves… but I think the lubrication would make me drop the patient. Then I thought… well… I’m thinking too much on it.
So I have 100 OFFICIAL NYC Condoms… and nothing to do with them. Luckily they don’t expire until 2011.
