To be honest, when I first read the story, in my mind Abigail started off near the bottom and certain experiences in my past made me really really want to rank Gregory as the worst, but, as I re-read the story and mulled it over for a while, Abigail kept moving up on the list.

Despite the validity of each of the other perspectives, my rating stays the same. I’m usually a proponent of meddling (whether I’m asked to or not) when there’s at least some chance of it making a difference, being beneficial or otherwise productive, or if one of the parties involved can’t defend themselves, BUT I really didn’t like Slug’s kind of meddling, and how he chose to “remedy” the situation.  In my opinion, doing nothing would have been better, since there was no longer a threat to Abigail’s safety.  That ended when Gregory left her.  If there was any indication that Abigail was in danger, I would have ranked Slug as the least objectionable character.  Though I see the slight parallel between Slug and professional meddlers such as yourself, I’m sure when you “meddle” at work, it’s to prevent people from hurting themselves or others, not to punish or exact revenge. To me, that’s a big difference. Plus, I’m pretty sure your professional meddling doesn’t involve whacking people in the head with backboards or beating them with oxygen tanks.

As for who I am, I’m not Slug, I’m probably not Ivan, and I’m definitely not Gregory or Sinbad. Maybe I’m a hybrid of Slug and Ivan--a selective meddler. (If that’s cheating, too damn bad!)

I can’t decide if I agree with you or not that situations aren’t that unique.  For a long time I was so sure that Tolstoy was correct when wrote, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” but I don’t know anymore.

I can’t see Abigail as anything other than a victim of circumstances.  She had to make a hard decision to sleep with Sinbad so that she could get to the man she loved.  It was just sex, not something with passion, and when she confessed and was honest with the man she loved, he slapped her. 

I also can’t see Gregory as anything other than the most reprehensible one.  Rather than understanding, he hit a woman.  There’s nothing more to the story for me.  He got what he deserved.

The middle three can be switched around based on my mood, I think.

Ivan was being shitty by trying not to get involved. 

Sinbad was just being a capitalist, but he had to be aware of what he was asking. 

Slug did what was right and necessary, but by doing it loudly and where people could see, he did it for some adulation, too.  He would have been less reprehensible if Gregory had just disappeared one morning and nobody knew what had happened.

This was definitely an interesting exercise.

I think it was interesting to read everyone’s responses and reasonings.

For me, the most interesting were the descriptions of Abigail.  I was surprised how quickly she was called a whore and immoral.  Especially by women.

Right up to the “and she laughed at Gregory’s ass whooping”, I felt bad for Abigail.  I saw a desperate woman trying to do the very best she could with what she knew/had at the time - and being taken advantage of and misunderstood for it.

It surprised me that I was one of the only people who didn’t look at her sleeping with Sinbad as an affair, or adultery, or immoral - but rather a foolish, if not well intentioned, sacrifice she made for the sake of both her AND Gregory.

I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that no one else saw it that way.

I’ve never been known to be more bleeding heart than the average Joe, so that surprise me.  And to be honest, if that’s representative of societal views as a whole - it makes me very sad.

P.S.

I totally knew you were going to be a Slug and pissed at the Ivan.

GAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

I am so frustrated that anyone sees Abigail strictly in the victim role.

As someone pointed out, (I’m sorry, I don’t remember who), it was Abigail’s choice not to just wait out the washed out bridge.  I mean, the day before she wasn’t visiting Gregory so why the hell is it suddenly so urgent for her to visit him?

She has choices:
- take her chances with the alligators
- wait for a new bridge to be built
- ask someone else to take her across the water
- ask Sinbad to just bring a message to Gregory (and it he still says he wants to sleep with her then she can make the choice to not do that and ask someone else to deliver the message!)
- do nothing
- pick up the fucking phone
- etc etc etc

Life is ABOUT CHOICES.  Sometimes we make bad choices.  Let’s not just chalk it up to victim, let’s learn from our mistakes and become better people and make better choices.

*stepping off soap box*

I don’t see Abigail as “strictly a victim”.

In life you have choices.  And you do the best you can with what you know at the time to make the right choice.

Sometimes you make the wrong choice.  That’s life.

Making the wrong choice isn’t the same as being a victim.

But it’s not the same as being a whore either.

I still agree with Poppy.  You are not a victim if you choose that route on your own.

Abigal flat out betrayed Gregory, plain and simple.  To me, betrayal is the worst thing that happened here.  One cannot commit adultery if one is not married but one can cheat on an SO.  She did and I don’t give a flying fuck what her motive was.

Do you remember the story I told you the other night about my sister?  Well, I guess I was Ivan.  Because I refused to cover for her when she chose to cheat on her husband and the violence that resulted must be my fault, right?

My GF also has cheated multiple times.  She’s still my friend but I will not put myself in a position to be sucked into helping her smooth out the bed she’s made.  She knows how I feel about the whole thing and doesn’t hate me...go figure.

You cannot save the fucking world.  And honestly, some people do not deserve your compassion or the trouble you might go to in order to help them go from person with a problem to victim who has had problems thrust upon them.

And furrthermore, friends are not always real bright about how far they’ll go to “help.” I find that many people do not want their friends to solve their problems.  They want to be caught when they fall...which is the kind of friend I am.  I can’t and won’t fix someones life, I’ll just be there to listen, cry with them and laugh to take their mind of their problems.

I think women dislike Abigail the most because women are harder on women.  I also think that the men who say that Gregory should have listened to her reasons and sympathised probably wouldn’t be so accepting if it was their spouse....in fact, I know so.

So, in summary, she deserved to be hit.

Wow.

Nobody deserves to be hit.  I do not believe in physical violence at all and I have serious issues with anyone who feels that violence is an acceptable action.

I do understand people losing their tempers, but I, a very emotional person, can lose my temper without hitting.  I assume other people can as well.  I’m not special.

I do believe that ones actions can affect their lives positively or negatively.  Either Abigail is a stupid whore, as opposed to just a whore, because she obviously didn’t bother to take Gregory’s feelings into consideration as to how he would feel about what she chose to do to get to him.

It’s incumbent upon each and every one of us to be responsible for what we do.  It would be nice if we all were able to think before we say or do something but that’s not always the case. 

Abigail has to bear responsibility for what she brought upon herself.  Period.

"Bear responsibility” - so it’s her fault that she was hit.

Maybe if she hadn’t talked back or maybe if the dinner wasn’t cold, she wouldn’t have been hit.  Or maybe if she just stopped crying, she wouldn’t need to be hit again.

She should just bear responsibility for someone else laying a hand on her.

I get it now.

In the end, I forgot to add, Getting smacked by Gregory is a foeseeable action.  I have to believe that she would have figured that out on her own unless she has something wrong with her or is unable to think things through.

She did seem a bit impulsive to me.  Maybe she’s just immature.  I would say she is based on what she did last.

Avi, can you see beyond a single line?  I have not ever said she deserved to be hit.  I said she needs to bear responsibility for what she did and accept that it is POSSIBLE that her actions resulted in what happened to her.

What she did had foreseeable consequences.  She chose to ignore them.  Now she has to bear responsibility for her own actions.

"Getting smacked by Gregory is a foeseeable action.”

Do you think this based on Gregory’s character or something?  Or do you think that if your spouse finds out you’ve “cheated” (and I use that term ery loosely in this scenario) it’s a foreseeable outcome that you will get smacked?

If I try to imagine my husband hearing I had cheated what his possible reactions would be - there are many.  None of which include smacking me.

There is just no way.  I don’t think there is anything in the world I could do that would cause him to so much as shove me, let alone smack me.

Yes, you’re saying that it is foreseeable for her to be a victim of physical violence, so she should change her actions to avoid such physical violence at the hands of an abuser.

She bore responsibility by telling Gregory what happened.  Excusing his reaction by saying that she should have foreseen it just gives it credibility as a reaction.

and I don’t mean “you” as in “you miss ann and your spouse” - I mean anyone.  You in general.

Avi, wait, let me get this straight.

You see Abigail as the poor, abused, sad girl who is completely innocent in all of this?

At no point have you considered moral or ethical consequence…

I know why, it’s not your fault.

I think foreseeing poor behaviour is reasonable since people do not always behave the way you want or expect them too.

Many women...and men...have been killed in for cheating.  One cannot know what even the mildest mannered person would do if pushed.

I consider those things because I’m a bigger picture kind of person.  I don’t do tunnel vision.

Dawg,

I think that even beyond just “choices” this story is about values and prioritizing those values.

I think MOST people would agree violence, exploitation, infidelity, lying, etc etc etc go against their moral standards.  In an ideal scenario.

What’s interesting about all of this is that in a less than ideal situation, you often have to choose which value means the most to you- to prioritize.

(For example: Would you steal to feed your family?  Depends if you value being a provider more than you value the law, etc.)

Or, in the case of us as readers, which *transgressions* we are more willing to excuse or have sympathy for.

And I think at this point I have stopped making sense and so will now shut up.

Britt has it exactly right.  She’s summed it up beautifully.  She found the words I was missing.

It’s all about us.  Our life experiences bring us to make the judgements we make.  My life is different from anyone else, hence, I have a different perspective.

Except Poppy.  She gets me.  She completes me....or something.

Ranked in order of most offensive:

Sinbad is an amoral opportunist.

Slug is another opportunist, and a bully; he might be Sinbad’s long-lost twin. 

Gregory is a hotheaded abuser.

Abigail has a bad habit of picking the wrong men. 

Ivan is a Zen master.

The baseball bat was a nice touch.

CP

I just think that Abigail is a manipulative, selfish bitch who will do whatever it takes to get what she wants. She was my number one, because her actions all created the rest of the story. The domino effect: like that old story of just smiling at someone might make their whole day, etc. (Does that make sense? I feel like I’m talking in circles.) Anyway, she went to whatever guy she had to to get what she wanted. That is not a victim at all. Slug sucks because he took her word and reacted violently, even if Gregory deserved it; suppose she’d lied about the whole thing? Who needs gorillas around who act without knowing the whole story? Sinbad is just a douchebag, but again - he tried, and you can’t really blame him for that - she’s the one who gave it up. Greg sucks because he didn’t do anything to begin with. No balls on that man. Why did SHE have to jump through all the hurdles to see him, anyway? Then he basically casts her away and slaps her? Ick. Ivan, in my opinion, was the only one with a brain. I think I assumed he knew what these people in the town were like (Sinbad was slime, Abigail was manipulative, Greg was a putz, Slug was an oaf, etc) so he just said, “No, thanks” and let it go.

BINGO, Sybil.  Thank you.

Victims don’t laugh at the “love of their life” getting the shit beat outta them.

I’m still looking around for who called Abigail a “victim”.

"I can’t see Abigail as anything other than a victim of circumstances.”

That would be from the second comment on this post.

Ah, got it.  Well at least I’m clear on who is arguing with who now. LOL