I hate to see you so torn up, yet, it is your own doing.  You can’t/won’t give up trying to fix and help and it’s hurting you.  You’re causing your own misery.

All I can say is do what you gotta do and good luck.  I would also like to smack that bitch up for being so selfish that I don’t think she either understands or even has bothered to think about whether or not she’s hurting you.

xxxooo

I spend a lot of my life alone, and am perfectly fine with that. What bothers me is when people feel that my being alone means I must be lonely, and the pity party comes out.  That’s what I can’t deal with.

I don’t think being alone necessarily has to be bad or depressing.

And I don’t think either of them is permanent.

I am alone 90% of the time, while I’m lonely about 50% of the time.  Some days I feel like damaged goods, feel that people look at me differently.  For very different reasons than you.  I think we choose to be lonely or alone and like Miss Britt says, I don’t think either of them are permanent.

Most of our anguish we go through in life is caused by US not letting ourselves move forward and change what we are doing.  Insanity can be described as doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results.  I know that I’m insane, due to so many things I’ve done in the past.

You’re in a pattern of trying to help this person and you’re running in circles with it (IMHO).  Why not take a step out of that circle and let it dissipate?  You may find some of the peace you are looking for.

*hugs*

Alone can be a wonderful thing if you let it.  Alone teaches you to love yourself more.

Lonely… can exist even when you’re not alone.  I’d rather be alone than lonely every single day.  Even when I have impossible days like yesterday where I shut everyone out and then felt like no one loved me, even me.  (See?  We’re all fucked up.)

My advice: Learn to live with the fact that you have a compulsion to fix and that you will fail, or learn how to let this go.  It’s not your job to fix others, it’s only your job to take care of yourself.

Lonely vs. alone.  yes, I understand that completely.  I have mastered “alone”, and I have no issues being by myself.  I am perfectly content being alone.

I am, however, lonely.  I have been alone for four years, and I am tired of being lonely.  I “can” live alone, and have done so successfully, so to speak.  I don’t want to be alone anymore, but i am not the type of person who *can’t* be alone.  You are right; there is a difference.

Healthy people can be alone.  They know it won’t kill them, and they enjoy their alone time.  But those who have mastered “alone” can also be very lonely.

Your insight & honesty amaze me. Can I try to psychoanalyze you for a minute? Okay, thanks.
When you say you wanted to be invisible & you avoided her, I wonder if it’s because you felt you were doing what you are afraid others think & do in regards to yourself? Kind of like looking in the mirror & not liking what we see.
You’re really hard on yourself & while I think you realize that, I hope you give yourself a pat on the back sometimes.

The distinction between being lonely and being alone definitely exists, but I think it’s different for everyone.  I like being alone (it doesn’t come with a feeling of emptiness for me), but loneliness feels entirely different--cold and dark.  Actually, though it sounds a little contradictory, I’m more likely to feel lonely when I’m with other people than when I’m alone.

I don’t know if this is still applicable to the current state of affairs or not, but I just wanted to remind you what you of what you said before:  “But in the end the cheerleader will need to want to be saved.”

In any case, you do already recognize that your unreasonable expectations of yourself are the source of your sense of failure, so I don’t think there’s much anyone else can say or do to alleviate your misery, aside from reminding you to remind yourself that you’re human.  I hope you begin to forget that much less frequently.

I don’t like the term “damaged goods” or when ppl say I come with “baggage”. Seriously bc I’m a single mom, ppl tell me all the time I shouldn’t be picky about who I date. I don’t buy that BS @ all. If a guy can’t treat me right I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life then with someone like that.
I’m used to be alone, I don’t mind it much anymore. I actually preffer it most times but I in the past recent months and even now I do feel lonely.

Basically, I agree with what everyone else said. You simply can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. Some people will suck the life right out of you. Some people are fair weather friends who come running when they need help, which is all the time, but don’t want to hear the obvious.
Still - you are a really good friend, and no one ever forgets that!

Honey, half the time, make that most of the time I wish I were alone! :D Not that I don’t love my family, but damn they drive me crazy.

Yet, I’m thankful for them each and every day. Even Kidlet1. Go figure.

Just know you do have us. And we love you.