I originally started blogging anonymously because I was really unhappy with life and I needed an outlet and I didn’t want anyone I knew in my local life to hear about the real me, because behind closed doors was a lot different than the me I showed to them.

And I now am a much happier person but my Poppy persona is out there, and people have taken to it.  She’s not much different than I am (I am a whole person, while she’s not quite the whole picture, as you know), but she’s close.

And, in this case, it didn’t help that you blog anonymously because he knows your URL and screams it out in meetings.  I’m very glad that you’re confident enough about your selves (blog v. IRL) to not hit the delete key just because he outs your blog address in a room where it should never be mentioned.

I think there is a good person inside of him, but he’s just choosing the other side.  For now.  Hopefully something happens in his life to bring out his good side.

I started blogging as a form of cheap therapy when I moved.  I used an identifying work in my old blog and an attorney I worked with found my blog. It creeped me out because I get personal and freaky on there!

Now, I don’t use my real name or any other identifier in my blog because I am a big fat chickenshit.  I am afraid.  Afraid that it could hurt family members with the very real gut wrenching feelings that I think and feel but can NEVER say out loud, and because I work in corporate America where we all check facebook and myspace and google people and I want to go to law school and work in criminal law and the last thing I want is a story about my personal life biting me in the ass later on or my information being used by a psycho because they are out there.  And no matter who we are or what we do, there will always be someone out there who judges us or our actions and feels it is their job to make us right.  And it scares the crap out of me.

I don’t have the attention span to pull off an Internet persona.  I would keep forgetting my own name.

But I understand all the reasons why people do.  EXCEPT when it’s used as a weapon.  But then it’s not the anonymity that’s a problem - it’s the shit head personality behind it.

I find this all VERY scary and I hope I never have to find out first hand. Maybe someday law enforcement will find a way to stop this predatory behavior and maybe make some laws with teeth to stop these people!

I think it’s sad when pretty much the only reason why someone has an internet persona is to attack other people.  There must be something seriously wrong in their lives to make them do something like this.

It hurts my heart to know that you’ve been subject to these attacks, and good for you for standing up for what you believe in.  You have been through enough, and this person should get a life and leave you alone!

I understand why people blog anonymously.  It makes sense - you want to be able to share elements of your life that you don’t want your family or employer to read.

It’s only when people use that anonymity as a chance to be hateful that I’m against it.

Warren Ellis had a messageboard called The Engine and he required everyone to use their full name.  No stupid nicknames or identities - their actual name.  You’d be amazed at how civil the board was!

I understand where you are coming from.  When I started blogging, it never occurred to me that I could or should use another name. I have always used my real first name (or an abbreviation of it) but (I think) very few people know my last name. 

Instead of protecting my first name, I choose not to post photos of myself.  (I’ve posted 2-one of which is hidden in a post- in a year, only one of which is even remotely recent).  For me, photos are more revealing than a name, but that could be because my name has been changed to protect me, and as long as I do not connect the new with the old (EVER) or identify myself with photos, the one person that I do not want to find me won’t be able to.

You are right,about the trolls out there; most of them just love to take anything that they can learn about their subject and use it against them, which is why I think it is better to blog anonymously in most cases.  I think that the readers can still get to know the author through his/her writings, whether the author calls his/herself a nickname or chooses to use his/her actual name. I read blogs that I like, whether it is written anonymously or not- I have no issue with respecting the privacy of another person.

I eventually come to the same conclusion when considering this subject: What does your name really offer your readers anyway?  It’s just what you’re called, it’s not who you are.

I used to try to blog anonymously but it was pointless because I forgot to make my email name anonymous, LOL.  Even though you cannot find me on Google at ALL by using my real name, my husband’s name is everywhere due to what he does, so you can find me that way.  I’ve only once had it spill into my work life though and let’s just say that was awkward.

And you are right...people who want to be hateful are going to be hateful.  I’ve had plenty of weirdo “stalkers” and just ignored them.  I got lucky though that they went away.

I blog somewhat anonymously...but only because I am cautious of people who would decide to stalk me in real life.

You know this guy? If I were you I would punch him in the face. He desperately needs a life. I can think of a million better things to do then go around and make people feel like crap by hiding behind a fake name and insulting them.

Long-ass comment:

I have a stat counter for one reason and one reason only:  to monitor the IP addresses and locations of visitors to my site and compare them with those of my family members and people I know IRL.  I plan on leaving Blogger so I can have the ability to block certain IP addresses, but until then, if I come across an IP address I recognize, I will delete my entire blog.  Aside from one post about my ex, it’s not like I’ve done any soul-baring or secret-sharing on my blog, and so I shouldn’t have a problem with people I know IRL reading it, but IRL I work hard to maintain the appearance of being put together (literally and figuratively), and fear losing composure in front of anyone when my limbs misbehave. Even during the short period of time I lived close to family, I’d drive myself to the ER half an hour away with one hand on the steering wheel and one dislocated arm in my lap because getting a ride would involve someone seeing me lose my composure.  So, the thought of someone even reading about me crying, laying on my kitchen floor unable to move, or not being able to make it as far as my bedroom after coming home from the ER really troubles me.  It scares the crap out of me to have this kind of vulnerability revealed to those I know. 

I realize people who write personal blogs without using a pseudonym reveal much more vulnerability than I ever will on my blog and talk about much more personal things than I do, so I admire them for putting it all out there knowing that their friends and family read their blog.  Even more awesome is that you’ve been writing very personal things here as an anonymous blogger and have continued doing it even after someone announced your URL to rooms full of people and to people you’ve written about here.  Maybe someday I’ll grow a pair, but for now I’ll keep looking over my shoulder.

/ Long-ass comment

As long as there are creeps out there in the real world there are gonna be creeps/trolls right here on the internets.  Don’t know why anyone would take the time to be so hateful, but I hardly ever see it in the blogsphere.  I’ve only really encountered it on various message boards.

I agree with Poppy in what she said about using your own name and that it shouldn’t matter.  True, true…

Great LolCat, by the way.

That might be my favorite.

The one and ONLY reason I use a different name online is because I have a child, and my son’s dad is an asshole that is abusive and if he found me online, it would be horrible.  To say the least.

If I email people that I have met through blogging I do use my REAL name on my email.  But that is because I know they are not him. 

Anytime someone does something just to hurt another person it makes me shudder.

I think the funny part of aliases is that those of us who started out on the only available access to the internet -AOL- didn’t use real names.  We used...well, back then we called them handles...no one that I knew via AOL used their real name as their handle.

So the whole thing with ‘real’ vs anonymous is fucking weird to me.  Cuz ya know, a lot of the ‘real’ people who blog are actually a lot more fake and less real than people with aliases. 

And since I have spoken with the entire internet, I can tell ya, I am totally not lying about that.

Which brings me to this:  how anonymous are you when everyone knows your real name, address and phone#?  If you ask me, not anonymous at all.

There are only 2 sites I know of who use anonimity to be malicious pricks.  Heaven nose and Trainwrecks.  Having net bitchslaps when all parties are known is not hateful or evil people hiding behind nicks.  It’s a bitchslap.  Period.  Having a site where no one has any idea who you are just to fuck with people is hateful and evil.

I think I was listed on both those sites at some point.  And I have no idea who thay are or why they don’t like me...but who gives a fuck?  That is a cowardly person commiting a cowardly act right there.  ‘Course Heaven Nose picks on popular female bloggers.  While I am not stupid enough to think that people who don’t like me are jealous of me (sometimes they just don’t like me just ‘cause I’m me) I do think that Heaven Nose tends to pick on people they are jealous of.  Which I don’t get that at all.

I went anon for one reason and I will stay anon for that one reason until death frees me...mine or theirs...whichever.

But still, I’m about as anonymous as Hilary Clinton....even if people who do know my real name accidently call me Miss Ann when I’m talking to them on the phone.  ~coughPoppycough~

I used to be an out and proud blogger but had issues with members of our school PTA board. At meetings they would hold my relationships, friendships and social activities over my head. Bitches.
And yes, I said PTA. Tjose supposedly nice ladies who help out at school. NOT!

I’ve never called you Miss Ann on the phone, ya trouble maker! :p Although I may have called Dawg (*cough*DOG*cough*) Dog to you. (Were you just checking to see if I was paying attention all the way to the end?  Course I was!)

When I first started it was pseudonyms for everyone on the BBS.  Nobody there went by their real name at first.  When everyone switched over to real names it became a predator’s wet dream and the BBS got shut down.  Sad, really… It’s where I misspent my formative years…

And now I’m just an old lady telling her “I walked ten miles barefoot through snow to school when I was a kid” story…

That’s a very interesting post, Dawg.
I’m semi-anonymous, but I’m still me. I don’t think I have a persona. People may think I do, I get a little bitchy sometimes but I really don’t blog anything that I wouldn’t say to the person’s face.  To seek people out and make anonymous comments at their blog because you think they won’t find out is just chicken-shit.

And I totally agree with what Miss Ann said-
“a lot of the ‘real’ people who blog are actually a lot more fake and less real than people with aliases”. However, that can sort of go for “in real life”, too, so I guess the “real” vs. “fake” is more intrinsic to a blogger’s basic personality than whether or not they put their name and photo out there, IMO.
Or maybe that is what Miss Ann was saying? Sorry if I’m repeating the obvious.

Also I have to add, I think that people who blog as themselves and “attention whores” are two entirely different groups of people, not one in the same, as I think you were saying.

Poppy, you did too call me Miss Ann.

Annie, that is what I meant.  Other people always say what I mean better than I say what I mean.  Hmmm.

I did? I don’t remember that… oops. :D

Well, if it’s any consolation you only did it once and you’re not the only one.

It’s the ‘Miss’ part that cracks me up.  Seriously.

I didn’t read everyone’s comment - but here’s why I’m Fantastagirl and not (insert real name here).  I had a blog where I was very open, honest and out there, and it almost cost me my job, my husband and my family. 

I had a “friend” who would twist stuff around and use what was on my blog against me, at my job, leave messages on my answering machine at home - and it just wasn’t worth it.  I made a few mistakes with the first blog - I didn’t tell my hubby about it, I talked about work etc.

I’m being a little more careful this time… but I have to be - I can’t afford to lose my job, and I don’t want to lose my family.

Annie, I was thinking of you in the shower this morning.  I know.. be afraid for us both.

But I was wondering - don’t you think all bloggers are attention whores on some level?  Anonymous blah blah blah aside.  Isn’t, almost by definition, someone who writes on the Internet for an audience, as opposed to in a little diary under their bed, an “attention whore”?

I know you directed that at Annie, but I want to say three things:

I started blogging because “blog” was the word of the year for 2005 and I wanted to try out the technology.  (I know, that’s lame.)

I kept blogging because I was really looking for some support and validation that I was a better person than I was led to believe.

I get pissy when people stop reading my site, and then I check back into reality and remember that blog is for me.

I started blogging in late ‘01 but in earnest in early ‘02 because it meant I didn’t have to constantly tweak code.  I had ONE, yes one reader for like, oh, I don’t know...5 months?  and that reader was someone I’d been net buddies with since ‘98.  And I talked to her on the phone every week so she wasn’t reading any big surprises on my blog.

I have always been ok with a low readership.  It makes me feel more connected and like I have time to focus on individual people.  I am not a many aquaintences, few friends person.  I dislike maintaining a lot of relationships at once...too much work.  I had a large readership with my second blog but it kind of bothered me...can’t put my finger on why.

I see people with large readerships practically demand that lurkers comment or bitch that this or that IP has been on their site for 27.49 hours.  That annoys me.

But anyway, there’s blogging because blogging is innately attention getting and then there’s blogging for popularity...and I’m not talking about popular for good content like (some of the more important) tech blogs and such.  I’m talking about personal bloggers seeking popularity as the paramount part of why they blog. 

Everyone wants readers and commenters but some people NEED them in, to me, an unhealthy way.

If you can go a week without blogging and watch your stat counter go down by 1/4 to 1/2 without having a panic attack and DTs then maybe popularity isn’t so much what you’re blogging for...if you can’t, then maybe you should ask why.  (Generic you.)

That’s my take on it anyway.

um, the many acquaintences, few friends part?  I didn’t finish the sentence.  I’m a few acquaintences, few friends person.

It should also read that I prefer it that way...but I do have a fuckton of acquaintences

Oops.

When I first started blogging back in 05, I was all about OMG I NEED MORE READERS! I would see sites with 35 or 40 comments and I’m all WTF are they doing that I’m not?  Then I had a stalker and I got skeered.

Now days, I don’t feel like I NEED to blog every day.  Instead, I am good with blogging because I want too and if go days between posts, my panties are not all bundled up.  Sure, I want readers and I want comments, but my stat counter is not my friend like I used to think it was.  Now, its is more about the dialog that takes place in comments being more important to me than how many clicks my page had and I enjoy reading new blogs and deciding which ones to stalk, where to lurk, and what net-drama to keep an eye on - because deep down inside, my true calling is to feed the voyeur in me.

Miss Britt-
Well, sure, we all want to be heard or we would be writing in a diary under our bed.
But for me, I kind of see it as a social thing. Just as most humans have the desire to socialize, we’re social creatures. Like a cocktail party, for instance-
Some people go cuz they want to see their friends and perhaps mingle and meet some new ones. Some people see it as an opportunity to network and pass out their business cards and potentially make some money. Some people have to be the life of the party and be a fool and dance around with a lampshade on their head.

Then you have people who head straight to the bar, they can’t function properly unless they are getting something from a source outside themselves. Like, I’ve seen a few mentally unstable bloggers who really don’t get many comments or positive feedback, I think they are really just trying to “talk themselves sane” or hoping someone will occasionally tell them they’re normal.

Then you have the true addicts, who have to have a few drinks before they even go to the party, or do anything for that matter, like people who have such a black hole of need to fill that they would sit down to write a post about how they’re getting ready to take their child to the emergency room, instead of being so completely focused on their child that they forget everything else.

There’s a difference between wanting to interact in a relationship, vs. the need of having others fulfill a certain aspect in your life.

And what I said is not directed at anyone in particular. I see this in different bloggers just as I’m sure we all see this in different people, that’s all.

Um...that was long...ha-ha!
But basically, to answer your question though,
No, I don’t think we’re all attention whores.

Annie - those are great analogies actually.

+1 point for using ‘affect’ correctly.
-1 point for using ‘affect’ incorrectly
+1 point for using the word ‘emboldened’
-1 point for not using my new invented word ‘embiggened’

So it breaks even.

And re:anonymous - I choose to blog as me (in name, as in not anonymous) but not as “me” (I seriously filter the public persona).  My guest post at theabsurdist.net a few weeks ago tried to expose this concept.