Just read the original piece.

For gods sake, some people should just be slapped.

I always carry an emergency M&M with me too. A red one.

What color was yours?

My guess is that the worst part was the camera calling out “No! No!” when it was taken from your warm embrace.

Brilliantly written.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

you are a very funny writer

Wait a minute.

You have a DSLR??

When did you get that????

Have fun!!!

I hope you guys have fun! Actually, I know you will but have extra fun for those of us who couldn’t make it! :D

Damn, you are a good writer.  I was almost to the point of being livid when I got to the /sacastic parodic story at the end.

OMG, did TSA even APOLOGIZE for such an outrage? 

And one M&M? It takes me at least four for the terror to subside.

Dear Mr. Bones:

I am from the TSA. We have been trying to contact you regarding your recent incident at one of our security checkpoints at JFK airport yesterday about which you submitted a blog entry titled “#tsa agents took my rebel #avitaween.”

Our agency takes critical reports like yours very seriously. We have reviewed our footage of the incident and have seen some inconsistencies between our video surveillance and your account of the story:

(1) You mention that you submitted items to the x-ray machine in this order: you removed your laptop from its bag and placed it in its own bin; you then took off your boots, and then you emptied your pockets.  You failed to mention that you had STARTED to empty your pockets before your boots came off. In fact, our camera #5 shows, unequivocally, that although your bootlaces were slightly untied and loosened, you were rummaging through the contents of your pockets before they were off.

(2) You mention that your camera bag was on your back while, in reality, it was really hanging off of your shoulder. Why deceive the general public with this misinformation?

(3) Your characterization of the TSA agent was unfairly accusatory and inaccurate. Although he is an elderly gentleman (Hank, in fact, just celebrated his 86th birthday), you identified him as having “smiled with a nod,” while this was simply an involuntary muscular twitch.  What you identified as him stopping you “nicely” is simply your opinion; our evidence shows the TSA agent remaining stoic in his manner.

What concerns us most is your sweeping generalization of his “slight grandpalike grin.” From our vantage point, nothing can be further from the truth. While it was most definitely slight, his grin was more like that of a soft-spoken, retired uncle. The kind that gives you a weak handshake which goes on a bit too long instead of a hug.

We will be posting excerpts from our video feeds on our website for the general public to view (edited, of course, because you know—TSA). I hope you consider revising your story or, if at all possible, blanking out the front page of your website and pretending that it was due to an outage caused by spiking traffic.

Of course, if we happened to mistake you from another JFK traveler wearing a baseball hat and a shirt with a monkey on it, we at the TSA humbly apologize for the misidentification.

Have a nice day (but only in 3 oz. portions),
The TSA

Thank goodness I got our baby Rebel back for us by flashing that old man my tits!!!

(That’s why he was smiling...)

oh my....
I have a fear of my camera being taken too....

You had me so lost until the end. I hadn’t heard this story at all. Yeah, I’m a bit out of the loop.

I find it interesting how everybody is so concerned for Dawg, but nobody is concerned for the poor camera! Just think of how it must have felt!

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!
Awesome.

As a fellow DSLR owner, this touched me deeply.  More deeply even than I touch myself.  I had to break into my emergency stash of M & M’s myself as I followed along with this harrowing tale.

I didn’t get to comment on this when I originally read it, but once again I’m so impressed that you were able to show up to dinner Friday night in spite of your personal tragedy.

You are an amazing man.

I can’t believe I didn’t introduce myself at Avitaween.

This was funneh, sir.

wow- you’re so brave to be able to post about this- I mean your camera?  That’s sacred!  And I’m sure you are a great photographer!  The inhumanity!

This is probably the best post I’ve read all week on this subject. Best post. Thank you for the brevity and the reality.

why does this sound vaguely familiar to me?

I always carry an emergency M&M with me too. A red one.