My husband passed away in April and I didnt dream about him for a few months afterwards, but the dreams come now probably 2 times a week.  I have also had those moments of waking up with your heart beating so hard that you think you might be having a heart attack.  Dreams remind me of that song “THE RIVER” by Springsteen - “ are dreams a lie if they dont come true?” I have been reading you for a while and have never commented, but I guess now is the time.

I don’t even know what to say.  When Todd died, I had some horrible nightmares that started a few months after he passed..  They slowly dissipated with time.  And now I rarely have a nightmare when I dream of him.

But I was scared to death to go to sleep at first.  I started writing about them, every morning as soon as I woke or in the middle of the night if it was strong enough to wake me.  Writing about them seemed to help me, maybe it will help you if you continue to do what you’re doing and write about them. 

*hugs*

Dreams can be so tricky. I hope you can get some good sleep soon. It seems to me like your mind might be trying to tell you something. Maybe not even in an obvious way.

I haven’t had a dream about my sister since she died, but I understand a lot of people do have strange dreams after they lose someone.

When I have dreams like this, part of me is terrified to go to sleep.  And the other part of me desperately tries to stay asleep longer, so I can get past that point in the dream - to find out what happens next, how it all “ends”.  Until I can get past that I constantly feel this overwhelming need for some kind of closure.

Maybe you need to see what comes next.

I agree with Britt.  Instead of fighting the sleep and hating the dream allow it to deliver the message it’s trying to give you.  And then you won’t have the dream anymore, or you will have the dream and it will suddenly be more comforting than terrifying.

From an outsider perspective that dream is beautiful.

You write really well when it comes to personal matters.

My mother died in 2002, my grandmother in 2005 and I still have dreams about them.  They are rarely the happy/funny people that they were.  They are constantly judging me and yelling at me or dying again in my dreams.  I wish you the best in healing.  I’m not sure what the best is, whether its less dreams or more peace but whatever it is, I wish it for you.

I will pray for your peaceful sleep. You deserve a rest.

damn.

If you’re consistently having the same dreams...then obviously either your subconscious or something/someone else is trying to tell you something.

I agree with Britt.  Don’t be afraid to sleep...let the dreams play out and maybe you’ll figure out what they’re supposed to mean.  It’s obviously something important.

I understand why you’re terrified, tho’. 

Wow.

Those are pretty sucky dreams. Yes, maybe write about them or don’t be afraid of them and figure out if there’s a message for you, then maybe they will go away?

The only dreams I’ve had about dead loved ones is that overall, they are happy where they are.
Hmmm…

I’m so sorry.  It must be so traumatizing and so scary.

I have some thoughts but I want to share them privately so I’m going to shoot you an email.

Hang in there, D.