Sundays have really become my least favorite day of the week.  When it happens to land on the 21st of the month… it seems to become nauseatingly worse. 

Sunday used to mean breakfast with my parents.  Sunday used to mean lunch at McDonalds.  Sunday used to mean an afternoon at the movies.  Sunday used to mean a chicken dinner with corn on the cob.  Sunday used to mean a ton of Cartoon Network or Shrek 2 on the television at night.

Sunday now means a morning spent at the cemetery.  Sunday now means I sit on a bench and watch kids play in the playground while drinking an ice coffee… but the one I want to see playing is never there anymore.  Sunday now means a day of uncertainty as to what to eat.  Sunday now means an uncertainty as to who I’ll be seeing.  Sunday now means a lonely walk to the movie theater where I look at the movies playing… but I never seem to go in.  Although there are occasional breaks in the monotony that make it more bearable (like eating cereal in an airport), Sunday in general is a miserable day for me now… its as if nighttime just extends itself through the day without regard for anything else.

Halloween for a long time was my favorite time of year.  I’m not into it at all this year.  In 2001, we put DJ into one of those baby tiger outfits.  His teeth were still coming in so all the candy went to me… but he got the balloons.  In 2002 he was Batman… which I totally chose because there was no way I was letting Pudding put a sheet over him and calling it a day because money was tight.  In 2003, he was a Frankenstein monster which he actually chose because it was green in color.  In 2004 he was of course Spider-Man, along with 20 gazillion other kids coming off the second movie hype.  In 2005 he was a Clone Trooper, and only because I was overruled since I was pushing Darth Vader… which was the same thing I was at his age.  In 2006 he WAS Darth Vader… with a bribe of an all encompassing black plastic voice changing helmet.  He wasn’t supposed to bring it to school… which of course he did by smuggling it in his backpack when I just happened to ignore the sudden increase in size.

I really don’t have anyone to go trick or treating with this year… and although I could technically go with Blinky and the Professor… I really am not into it.  I don’t know what this year would have brought… maybe a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle or Shrek… but I wonder what it would have been.  I wonder alot about how things COULD BE instead of HOW THEY ARE.

All I’m left with at the end of the day, is how they were.