So I went to the doctor yesterday.  He ran some tests.  Poked and prodded me in sensitive locations.  Then he gave me the stern lecture about my poor dietary lifestyle and that my copious amount of sugar intake MUST stop.  He was very clear about that and if I continued down the path I was my health would be adversely affected.

Sugar.  That little granular crystal that is in the foods that I oh so love to consume.  It’s in cupcakes, soda, donuts, cake… and of course… candy.  All these foods that I consume on a daily basis through both desire and habit.  What’s working a 20 hour day without a 2 liter bottle of Coke?  What good is going to the movies if you can’t have chocolate?  What good is flying to a Halloween party if you can’t eat candy?!?!? 

I live to consume sugar!!!!!!

But it’s killing me.

Which is why right after I left the doctor’s office I went directly to the 7-11 where I got two 1.5 liters of Coke, a 4 pack of Snack Pack Chocolate pudding, and a glazed chocolate cake donut.  I consumed the donut on the way home to Poppy.  I drank two cups of soda with dinner.  I ate two of the Snack Packs after dinner.  After I did that… I began to wonder why.

Last week Poppy asked me whether or not I “wanted” to be around.

“Of course I do!” I told her.  I did admit that if I ever received a cancerous diagnosis, that I would in all likelihood decline treatment and go on vacation.  I also have expressed my interest in getting a DNR tattooed on my chest, and that I am not a fan of artificial life support.  But that’s when I’m ready to die!  Not now!  Consciously I want to be here.

Sub-consciously… I’m apparently looking to die through sugar consumption… specifically by chocolate pudding.

Could there be a better way?