As I previously twitted, as Seattlepi.com and BelchSpeak reported, the coffee brewing corporate mongering monstrosity known as Starbucks is closing 600 “underperforming” stores.  Starbucks Gossip has the text of the actual memo sent from corporate overlords to their “partners”… of which approximately 12,000 of them will be either relocated or forced to find work elsewhere.

Starbucks, like so many corporate mongers before them, peaked but failed to maintain because they were overwrought with greed and overextended themselves.  Not only have they done this, but Starbucks in their quest for global dominance have negatively effected change on the caffeine consumption landscape… for if caffeine was the spice… then Starbucks would be House Harkonnen.  Coffee according to Starbucks was the first to break through the $4.00 barrier, quite a few years before gasoline did.  With Starbucks expansion came the closure for a number of independent coffee houses and the coffee bean became a commodity of the elite once again.

A few weeks ago I was approached by an undomiciled man outside of one of the hospitals.  He asked me for a quarter to get a cup of coffee.  I gave him a dollar and some change.  I told him if he finds anywhere in this city where you can get a cup of coffee for a quarter he should come back and tell me.  I’d then buy him lunch.  I haven’t seen him since.

So now the Starbucks Empire is starting to fall.  While the official statement cites ”a slower economy and dramatic decline in consumer confidence” as the causes of their woes, their second quarter still saw a profit of $108.7 million dollars, according to a New York Times article.  Sure, as a public company it was their weakest quarter, but that is still a PROFIT.  A company that is still turning a profit, but willing to lay off 12,000 employees during an economic slump on a quest for a bigger profit is a company that is not going to instill confidence, consumer or not, in its ability to contribute positively to our country’s well being. 

I haven’t seen McDonald‘s or Burger King make any press releases about closing stores.  More importantly, I haven’t heard a peep about the closure of any Seattle’s Best or Dunkin’ Donuts stores, so that pretty much rules out as it being a coffee industry only problem.  It’s a Starbucks problem they brought onto themselves in their greed with their overpricing, elitist attitude, and incestuous planting of stores within a block of one another… all highlighting the complete disconnection with the reality of life in America.  So how will your soy lattes save you now Howard, when your patrons can’t afford them any longer?

While it hasn’t been determined, it will be interesting to see how many of Manhattan’s 171 Starbucks are closed.  What will be more interesting is what will open in their places?

I can only hope they are all turned into Dunkin’ Donuts… with their bright orange and pink signs all over in place of that sterile green and white.

Long live the Dunkin’.