I am really fed up right now.

Mentally I am dumbfounded.

Emotionally I am bordering on an old school rant that may lead to a psychotic breakdown which will feed the Blogosphere’s Drama Engine just a little longer with my digital ink.

I don’t understand why people are so stupid.  Really.  Totally and completely stupid people who have no business doing what they’re doing.

What are they doing you ask???

They are the ones handling the stimulus refund from the Federal Government.  They are the IRS.  The money men.

I got home yesterday after a typical Monday.  Typical=crappy.  There were two things I found when I got home. 

The first was a .5 liter of Coke that I promptly consumed due to its cold temperature being the antithesis of the hot and humid former flood zone I was settling into.

The second was an envelope from the IRS that clearly said in red letters: 2008 Stimulus Information.

I was befuddled by this envelope.  So after opening the Coke, I opened the envelope and fully expected a check.  No.  There was no check.  Instead there was a letter from the IRS explaining to me the exact same thing that was explained to me when my taxes were done.  The letter also said how I could expect payment around the third week of July.  If in fact I don’t get the check within 6 weeks of the date they gave me, well then I should call them to find out if in fact it was sent out.  Does this make any sense to anyone?  Why would they not save the postage and just mail me the check when it was ready?

Don’t tell me the postage for this crap doesn’t cost anything.  Every piece of useless mail that goes out, from the government or not, costs something between the paper, the ink, and the manpower needed to deliver such items.  I don’t have the numbers, but it costs money to send these little things out.  Why else would they have raised the postal rates again?

Speaking of raised postal rates, why don’t they just charge double for bulk mailings?  Seriously.  Readers’ Digest Ed McMahon Sweepstakes should just give Ed the money before he loses his home, and the Post Office should make everyone else who does bulk junk mailings pay double.  You know that would cut down on some of the REAL mailbox clutter because those companies would no longer look at bulk mailings as profitable.  This not only would cut down on the load of the mailman, but it would decrease the amount of time needed to deliver the mail, and you could probably cut one mailman out of ten.  I say start with the grumpiest ass one who not only destroys the cards my aunt sends me, but can’t friggin’ read and delivers it to the wrong house.

So what would the government do with all this newfound money?  Develop real working R2-D2 Mailboxes.  The R2 Mailboxes can not only be mail receptacles, but then in the middle of the night they can drive themselves to the post office and dump their load.  At some point, with further development, they would be able to deliver the mail which would lead to needing even less mailmen!  Less mailmen… more savings… more R2 Mailboxes… which means less mailmen… more savings… more R2 Mailboxes.  It’s a win win for me… although not so much for the mailmen.  Hey, there is always UPS, right?

Of course this won’t ever happen.  Wanna know why?  Because the money men, the IRS, are stupid.  They send you letters telling you about a check that’s coming instead of just sending the check.  They definitely won’t try to save you any money by properly funding the US Postal Service R2-D2 Initiative.  I feel like I am stuck in a bureaucracy of stupidity and there’s nothing I can do about it.  Will it never end?

There is only one thing that could make me feel better.  A pudi-cake-a-cookie.

Pudding?  Check.  Golden Oreos?  Only three blocks way.  Only one problem.  They don’t sell Little Debbie in this confounded city!!!

I blame the government.

It’s a desert cake conspiracy.