I come here this morning with heaviness in my steps. These last few days have not been easy for me. I have suffered horribly at just the prospect of writing this to you, but I have come to the realization that I have no choice.
I firmly believe that there are things in our lives that at times will spiral out of control. My own job often causes me to bear witness to members of humanity in this downward tailspin. While a medical intervention serves to temporarily stop the spiraling, control over the course of life is rarely regained through it. Most of these spirals are influenced by outside substances which internally we crave. I am talking about addiction and the power it holds over us.
The first step to resolving an addiction is admission. Therefore, I admit to you, I am indeed addicted…
It really started innocently enough when I decided to quit smoking. My nicotine addiction was becoming more expensive, it was unhealthy, made me smell, and was making me a social outcast in a society that after 200 some odd years suddenly decided smoking was no longer acceptable.
My methods were simple. Nicotine patch on in the morning, toothpicks to chew on, and gum. While at the CVS that first morning I also picked up a large package of… orange Tic-Tacs. It was not easy to quit smoking, but it was bearable with the gum, toothpicks, and patch. The Tic-Tacs… well they just made the whole thing damn delightful. I had forgotten the joy I had with them as a kid, and that sense of happiness and innocence rushed back to me like a tidal wave.
The next day, I still had gum and toothpicks but no more Tic-Tacs. I had consumed all eight little boxes. At first I didn’t think anything of it. Then I started to salivate uncontrollably… similar to a Newfoundlander… and I craved that little pill. So I went and bought another package. That night, when getting my two ice coffees, I realized I no longer had any Tic-Tacs. So I picked up yet another package… and one more for good measure. Thus began my own downward spiral.
I am a Tachead. My daily habit is between 16 and 24 little boxes of Orange. The irony of it all! To kick one addiction, I have replaced it with another! At least smoking was cool. Tic-Tacing is most famous from freaking Juno by the track running Paulie Bleeker(Michael Cera) who, in case you never saw the movie, is a total dweeb. At least smoking had James Dean, and of course the rough and rugged Marlborough Man. Oh the irony!
This not only should serve to you as a warning of the addictive qualities of Tic-Tacs… it should also serve as this week’s stock buying tip since there is no apparent plans to make an Orange Tic-Tac Patch in the near future. Don’t say I never gave you anything. Did I mention the irony?
Now where the hell are my Tic-Tacs…
Close it Up
