Dear BlogHer10 Attendees,

It is once again that time when a horde of estrogen charged women and wistfully wishing for more estrogen men descend on a city to feel womanly and rawr with their bad drunken selves. I think this kind of bonding is great. We men do it on a semi-more regular basis with a lot less fanfare and at a cheaper price at this place we call “The Bar”, but to each their own.

This year you will be invading New York City, which happens to be where I live. Now while I highly recommend you follow Avitable’s Guide To BlogHer so that perhaps you’ll actually get more out of the experience than some cheap swag, and I highly recommend the PoppyCede’s Guide To Subways so that perhaps you’ll get to actually take home that cheap swag, I have a few things that I want to offer myself…

NYCWD’s Common Sense Guide To BlogHer For The Common Sense Challenged

1. Watch where you are walking. I know this might seem simplistic, but the problem is most people become entranced by the height of our concrete and steel buildings… and inadvertently step in front of a bus a la The Final Destination. If this happens, 911 will undoubtedly be called for you but we make no guarantees to your survivability
2. Tip appropriately. The recommended NYC tipping rate is 18-25% of your bill… including the tax. If you can’t do simple math then try using the advanced feature on all your smartphones called The Calculator. Failure to submit the appropriate tip my result in verbal and physical harm. If this happens, 911 will undoubtedly be called for you but we make no guarantees for your freedom
3. Know your place. Now I know in your minds this event is a huge deal, and in your minds you’re taking the city by storm! So if there are 2,500 BlogHer attendees, that’s a whopping 0.0001% of the daytime NYC population. Your number will rise a little bit in the evening, but not that much. Keep this in mind when you are asking for directions (use actual NYC names instead of the fabricated Bloggy names) and undoubtedly taking photos (because even though public view is legally allowable, people may not want to be either inconvenienced by your 30 minute pose while the camera phone focuses or captured by your constant clicking). Failure to be cognizant of this may result in a pedestrian collision or your camera being smashed by a raging commuter. If this happens, 911 will undoubtedly be called for you but we make no guarantees for amnesty of the required photo permits.
4. DO NOT THREATEN THE CROC GUY WITH NEGATIVE BLOG POSTS IN EXCHANGE FOR SWAG! That is called extortion. We already have an organization that does that. You may have heard them. They’re called the Mafia. Failure to adhere to this may result in Tommy Two Tones and Chuckles visiting you on an elevator. If this happens, well, 911 won’t be called for you but we can guarantee that you will become fast friends with your new room mate… Jimmy Hoffa.
5. If you have a traumatic or medical emergency, call 911 and NOT 311. This shit happens all the time. Some tourist comes in, gets stabbed, and says, “Oh, I’ll just call the City of New York!” and dials the wrong number… and then they die. However just remember that when the ambulance arrives after calling the correct number, they’re going to take you to the hospital. That’s what they do because they are in essence an extension of the healthcare system. The ambulances will come in different sizes and shapes, but are all equipped equally and the personnel have the same training. Don’t worry about insurance or who’s going to pay for it, because ultimately your health comes first. Unless you’re Canadian in which case you’ll need to pay in cash upfront because your government won’t pay us for treating their citizens. We’ll also take Visa, MasterCard, and AMEX but there is a %5 additional service fee. Yes Canada, we blame you for our broken ass healthcare system.

In conclusion, please have a great time, thanks for coming, and be sure to take your trash with you when you leave.

*SMOOCHES* *BEOTCHES*

-NYCWD

Gentleman, you will once again be fighting for our freedom… not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from the annihilation of our manhood.

We are fighting for our right to live.

To exist.

To be entertained without a box of fucking Kleenex.

And should we win the day we will have declared in one deep husky manly voice: “We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive!”

And Gloria Gaynor will roll over in her grave.

Fuck yeah.

UPDATE: YouTube pulled the video… but luckily TrailerAddict still has it… at least for now!

Life.

A condition that distinguishes active organisms from inorganic matter. The science of biology is the study of these active organisms through their stages of growth. With names like osmosis and homeostasis, biology is able to define the growth process of the physical and organic matter.

Yet, there is more to life than just the generation, replication, and growth of cells. Life is also about ourselves in our collective humanity, how our experiences shape our personalities, and how our growth is affected by those who surround us. The study of philosophy purports to provide scientific answers to this aspect of life, and where it fails then there is theology that is ready to step in.

The one question that there is no definitive answer for is what is the meaning of life?

And if we don’t know the meaning of life, that also means we lack the answer to the meaning of death.

Today is the 3 year mark when my life was drastically changed.

1,096 days have passed since DJ crossed over and out of our lives. In the grand scheme of things, it may not seem like a terribly long time… yet it can sometime feel like an eternity. The proportion of time that has passed often becomes shrouded in a haze. Some days I wake up, look at his photo on the wall, and feel like decades have passed. Then there are some mornings when it all seems like a dream, and the harsh reality runs over me like a freight train all over again. It’s part of the process… trying to determine what meaning life still has for me without him in it or what meaning death might have always held for me considering that it has taken him from me.

Is there a greater meaning to any of it? As a parent, the meaning of life becomes slightly clearer and more focused on the well being of your child. While success at that is up to subjective interpretation, there are definite indicators that can guide you along the way.

Like smiles.

Like laughter.

Like kisses.

Like hugs.

But what happens when it ends. What happens when you no longer have those indicators in your life and are forced to look back in your mind’s eye for those? While it’s true that summer camp, college, and eventually married life can separate you from your child there is still the return of those little things. Death is a more permanent separation. I do have to hold some belief that death is not necessarily the definitive end of life. For that matter, the existence of my very job would dictate that under the right circumstances the science of biology can overpower all.

For 13 minutes DJ had a spontaneous return of circulation in the emergency room. He was intubated, on a ventilator, with IV lines running medicine into his veins meant to both aid in the chemical jump start of his heart and to try and regulate it once that happened.

For those 13 minutes that his heart beat on its own, I was in traffic trying to get through summertime rush hour traffic across state lines.

The biological medicine, that I had dedicated 12 years of my life to practicing, wasn’t enough.

I think about those 13 minutes alot. I wonder if it would have made a difference if I had been there. If he would have known that I was there, or if it would have helped to know that I was doing everything I could to be there… which was being a hyper ventilating hysterical mess in the passenger seat while my partner drove.

I wish there would have been something I could have done that would make a difference… but there wasn’t.

So I continue to do the next best thing… try to make a positive difference in the lives of people who either don’t have someone or can’t do something for themselves. There are plenty of days when I feel like I am living the life of a clown… happy and laid back on the outside while deep down inside I am twisted and deeply sad… but I go on. You may ask yourself why?

Because there has to be some sort of meaning to life other than the biological books tell you that I hope will still be revealed to me.

Because whatever meaning there is that death once held for me has disappeared and ultimately I will not allow it to rule my life as it once may have.

Because the smiles (and purrs) are worth those bad mornings.

Because the laughter is worth the waves of sadness.

Because the kisses are worth the second guessing.

Because the hugs are worth the moments of gut wrenching guilt for failure.

And in the end… if there really is no deeper meaning to any of it… if it is all done for no reason other than for something to do… there will always be the memories… and they are worth it all.

This year Dan has once again organized a fund raising walk for The Joseph Salmon Trust, a charity that is doing important work by offering financial support for those who have lost a child. I think the work this charity does is phenomenal, because not everyone has a loving family and the support of the Blogger community as I did. Poppy and I had planned on joining this pilgrimage with a cause, but due to unforseen circumstances we’ll only be able to support the walk from this side of the pond.

You can donate directly to the trust via their Just Giving Page, you can make a donation in DJ‘s name via this page, or you can just help spread the word about the Trust’s mission.

Anything you can do is a help.

Thanks.