Is it a big secret that there once again is drama in this corner of the blogosphere? It was to me until I put two plus two and finally got four (which shall now be referred to as The Sum Total). I really think that people don’t believe I am as dense as I am when it comes to figuring stuff out like this, but I am… of this any number of people would be able to assure you.
Now I am not going to condemn the existence of The Sum Total. Blogging for the most part has been an awesome experience for me. Like life however, it is diverse in not just the types of people you meet but also in the opinions being posted out there. Ultimately, blogging is about opinions, and opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. Unless of course… you have a colostomy bag from a bowel obstruction or something… but you get the idea, right?
I am not going to condemn the content of The Sum Total. It is what it is, which is crass atypical 5th grade schoolyard humor. I will say that one of the bloggers spoken about in such a manner was dragged into it not because of their own actions, but because of an association. In fact, when the same level of humor was being used by the very person they are associated with, this blogger actually condemned it for what it was, which is crass atypical 5th grade schoolyard humor. This unfortunately proves that while you may have beautiful eyes and perfect 20/20 vision, you can still be blinded to the truth.
I am not going to condemn the person/people behind the content of The Sum Total (thus far). They have a right to express themselves how they wish, as juvenile as it may seem to others. I am a believer in truthfulness and point of view. If this is how they honestly feel from their point of view, and there have been no indications that they haven’t been, then that’s fine by me. In fact, I can see why they would feel such a way on a number of points. This does not mean I necessarily agree with it, but I can understand where it comes from.
I am going to call bullshit on The Sum Total based on the following e-mail conversation with Head Total:
To: Head Total
From: NYCWD
Subject: If You Want Hate Mail…… I’ll give you hate mail.
BUT.
You obviously need to write about me to get it.
So… how about you write a scathing post about what a big fat dork I am, how I have four eyes, pubic hair glued to may face for a goatee, and how my cereal consumption has caused a serious shortage of food in Africa (all of these are just random ideas that you are free to take/use for your own… of course originality will garner you more points)… and I’ll send you a piece of hatemail.
Sound like a deal?
Sincerely,
NYCWD
Now I think I was more than accommodating in offering to give Head Total both hate mail (which was requested) AND provide some writing sparks for them. I don’t think I was asking for too much… an insult here, an insult there… maybe an uncensored honest opinion or two, which I think would probably do me a world of good.
Instead I got this as a response from Head Total:
To: NYCWD
From: Head Total
Subject: Re: If You Want Hate Mail…I could never write a shitty post about a man who lost his only child. I don’t care how much of a dick you might want the world to believe you are. I know better.
Did you catch it? Did you see the sucker punch there? Here… let me cut it out for you:
I could never write a shitty post about a man who lost his only child.
Wow. They’re pretty good at pushing the right buttons huh?
But ya know what… that isn’t what this post is about. In fact, all the stuff before this is pretty much irrelevant and not the point of this post at all. Ready for the point?
The point is that I was damaged in 1981 when I witnessed a kid down the street get literally driven over by a car. I was damaged in 1983 when I was taunted about my glasses in the schoolyard. I was damaged in 1987 when I got a concussion during a fight in the same schoolyard and woke up in a hospital with my grandmother grabbing at the football size hematoma on the back of my head. I was damaged in 1990 when I saw my grandmother waste away from cancer before my eyes. I was damaged in 1991 when my first true true true love I asked out said no, and undoubtedly from the subsequent copious drug usage that year. I was damaged in 1994 when my supposed fiance’ broke off the engagement and the relationship. I was damaged on August 24, 1996 when the skin from a 7 year old fire victim came off onto my hands while doing CPR. I was damaged at Woodstock ‘99 when I saw my generation destroy not just a concert field, but a dream for a better tomorrow. I was damaged in 2001 when I lost good friends, and more importantly a partner, in one of the darkest days in this country’s history. I was damaged in 2004 when my wife decided to leave me for another woman. I was damaged in 2005 when I saw firsthand exactly how little not only the government thinks of EMS, but the actual people we are supposed to be helping… until of course they suddenly needed us. Finally, yes, I was shattered on June 21 last year when I lost my son.
NEWSFLASH
I’m still here. I have a pulse, I breathe, and worst of all I think. I think I have proven I was damaged before this blog even began. I think that if your willing to write a “shitty post” about people who do not want to be written about in that way… but unwilling to write one about someone who is ASKING for a “shitty post” to be written about them because of something that happened in their life… well that’s what I consider undue pity because of damage done during this blog’s lifespan. You can take your pity, shine it up nice and bright, turn it sideways, and shove it straight up your candy ass.
I don’t want anyone’s pity.
I don’t want anyone walking on eggshells.
I want some goddamn fucking honesty back considering that is what I GIVE.
Like me for being me. Love me for being me. Hate me for being me. Not because of anything I’ve gone through.
Now that this little rant is out of the way, you’ll have to excuse me while I go chase these GreenPeace fuckers with their buckets of water and helicopters away.
